


Redamancy

by 2pidge0ns



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alluka is a GEM, Also changed a few canon plot points, Dark!Gon, Determined Gon Freecs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oblivious Gon Freecs, Phantom Troupe!Gon, Poor Gon Freecs, Post-Canon, Post-Chairman Election Arc, Protective Killua Zoldyck, gon centric, i will explain more in the chapter notes hehe, killugon reunion, more angst than I had originally planned, slow burn honestly..., some oc's for pure plot purposes, super minor tho, the phantom troupe doing phantom troupe things, they/them pronouns for Retz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26336692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2pidge0ns/pseuds/2pidge0ns
Summary: After discovering that his nen is not totally lost, Gon wants nothing more than to take back the power he once had. He needs it if he wants to continue his life as a hunter. It's the only way he will be able to protect himself and more importantly, it's the only way he will ever allow himself to be by Killua’s side once again. Gon is desperate to find a way out of his current state of weakness, even if it means taking orders from a murderer and watching himself become everything he hates.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, minor Gon Freecs/Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79





	1. Nenless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We pick up where the boys left off. Killua is traveling with Alluka and Gon is alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure this isn't canon, so here is a small plot detail I changed: On the World Tree, when Gon asked Ging about his nen, Ging told him his aura nodes were permanently closed, and Gon believed him wholeheartedly.

Killua

Each sway of the ship urged Killua to close his eyes and slip into sleep, but he effortlessly fought it. He watched the rise and fall of Alluka’s chest as she slept on one of the two beds situated in the cabin he’d bought for their trip east. Killua decided that they should flee to a different country as soon as they could, a country far, far away from Illumi and the rest of their family. 

It would take a a little more than a day to reach their destination, but travel was no burden for the two. Killua smiled, remembering the wonder and excitement on Alluka’s face when they boarded. Alluka had never been on a ship before, had never even seen the sea. No doubt that she would want to explore the entire ship in the morning, and no doubt Killua would be excited to explore it with her. Killua got up from his perch by the window and opened the door to check the hallway of the ship, only to make sure that it is safe for him to lower his guard and get some rest. He walked over to Alluka next, and pushed her hair out of her sleeping face. 

“Goodnight, Alluka,” he whispered. He climbed into his own bed and pulled the covers over his body. As he stared into the ceiling, Gon popped into his mind, as he usually did, along with a soft ache in his chest. He wondered where he is now. Was Gon still with Ging? It had only been a little under a day since Killua waved goodbye to Gon at the world tree, but to Killua, it felt like much, much longer. Gon was probably still with Ging, talking, sharing their stories. Killua wouldn’t be surprised if Gon spent all night and much of the next day sitting atop the world tree with Ging. Killua hopes that he lived up to all the expectations Gon had for him. 

“Goodnight Gon,” He whispers at the ceiling.

Gon

Gon's mind is oddly blank as he descends the tree of life. Every step of his boots makes a satisfying sound against the hollow wood. The occasional gusts of wind seem colder now that he is truly alone. Gon didn't exactly know how to feel; he had finally met his father, a man he had only seen in photographs and heard about in stories. He was everything and nothing like Gon had expected him to be. Ging was certainly an excellent storyteller, a skill Gon felt they had in common. The feats Ging accomplished as a hunter inspired Gon to the point where Gon could never feel bitter towards the fact that Ging had chosen being a hunter over fatherhood. Ging was the type of hunter Gon strives to be despite being completely nenless now. 

Gon looks out at the silhouette of the earth as he steps down the endless staircase, feeling a wave of cold nausea roll through his body at the thought of his own nen. A memory pops into the forefront of mind, suddenly, of Mr. Wing explaining many months ago that the mastery of nen was the true final phase of the hunter exam, that nen was a skill that all hunters must possess. A new and more powerful wave of nausea clouds Gons head, and he pauses on a step. It dawns on him: Now that he is nenless, can Gon even consider himself a hunter anymore? 

He physically shakes his head, making his slightly outgrown hair shift in the wind, as if the action will clear the unease plaguing his mind. He will only mourn the loss of his power after he returns home. Gon resumes his descent. Around twenty flights before the ground, Gon passes a tourist family standing by the rail, admiring the view. All except for a young girl, whose face is downturned, focused on opening her choco robot box. Gon's eyes widen as she pulls out a rare platinum robot, one that Killua had always complained about never collecting before, despite his rampant addiction to the candy. Overexcited, Gon whips his head to his side, ready to point it out to Killua, only to instantly remember that he isn’t there anymore. He speeds up his pace as an unfamiliar emptiness weighs on his chest. 

By the time Gon makes it back to his hotel room in town, the sky is a dark, inky black, the new moon providing no light to the world below it. Gon tosses the key he had stored in his pocket rhythmically in the air as he approaches the door. He locks it behind him and sets his key and his jacket on a table. As he looks over at his bed, his body suddenly begins to feel extremely tired. He doesn’t have the energy to take a shower before going to sleep. It's all he can do to kick his boots off and shove his shorts down his legs before he wraps the blanket around his body. He faces the other two beds across the room, the ones that Killua and Alluka used the night before. Gon feels a sharp pang to his heart as he thinks about Killua, and how he isn’t here anymore. Tears prick at his eyes. 

Although sleep finds him easily that night, the morning comes too soon, and Gon wakes with exhaustion still weighing on his bones. He climbs out of bed with a tired sigh, heading to the bathroom attached to his hotel room. Maybe a shower will make me feel less tired, Gon thinks to himself. 

It doesn’t. 

Midday rolls around and it’s time for Gon to check out of the hotel and set off for the airport. His hunter's license fit snugly in his back pocket. The taxi drops him off a few blocks away from the airport shuttle, and just as he steps out of the backseat, the clouds above him start to spew rain. It was no surprise, Gon had smelt the impending rain storm the moment he stepped outside earlier that morning and looked up at the heavy, gray clouds. Quickly, his jacket and shorts were becoming soaked, and his usually spiked up hair was beginning to droop. These things didn’t normally bother Gon, in fact he enjoyed rain a lot. 

However, as he strolls down the sidewalk, the cold sets in and he feels slight shivers rack his body. Before, he was able to regulate his body temperature using nen, a nifty trick Bisky had taught both Gon and Killua, but now, he could only endure the cold as it seeped into his bones. 

As Gon approaches a large, dark alleyway, adjacent to the sidewalk, an anxious feeling pools in Gon’s belly. It makes him quicken his pace in order to clear the alleyway faster. He’s only three steps away when a cold, heavy rope wraps around his foot, stopping him in his tracks. It moves up his leg like a snake, looping all the way up his thigh. Gon realizes it’s an iron rope, panic filling him. It aggressively pulls his leg out from under him, and he falls to the ground with a hard, “Umph!”

He desperately claws at the rope as it drags him towards the alley, panicked whimpers escaping his mouth. It’s no use. He can’t even fit a finger in between the rope and his leg. It’s hopeless. Gon looks up, staring out at the street through his sopping locks. Cars pass, but none of them stop. There are no pedestrians, no one can see him. No one can help him. The darkness of the alleyway swallows Gon, and something is shoved over his head. He feels a hard blow to the nape of his neck and everything goes black.

-

The incessant chattering of Gon’s teeth are the only thing he can hear when he finally comes to. Even though something is covering his eyes, he can tell that he is kneeling to the ground, only being held upright by where his arms are secured to the wall above him. The ground is cold and rough, digging into his knees uncomfortably, the frigid air around him causes goosebumps to crawl across his exposed legs and arms. Gon thrashes his body, hoping to somehow break free, but quickly realizes he’s not strong enough to make a difference. The sound of a door opening and closing reaches Gon’s ears and he freezes. 

“You’re finally awake.” Gon hears a deep voice drawl, steps echoing as the person approaches him. His blindfolds are ripped off of his head and it takes a moment for Gon’s panicked mind to make sense of his surroundings. The place is dark and huge. As Gon looks around, he recognizes it as some sort of industrial factory, machines lines that look like they haven’t been used in years crowd around the wall Gon is chained to. Gon’s eyes finally land on his captor, a large man with a face that reminds Gon of a reptile. He has his arms crossed, looking down at Gon smugly. 

“What do you want with me?!” Gon growls, straining so hard that he feels the skin around his wrists start to tear. The man flings his right hand out to the side, an iron rope spilling from his palm. He’s a nen user, Gon gulps. He grips the rope and whips it at Gon. In the blink of an eye, the rope is tightly looped around his neck, choking him so harshly, Gon thinks his windpipe might break.

“I’m the only one who will be asking questions here, boy.” If Gon had access to his vocal chords, he knew that the sounds coming out of him would be borderline inhuman. After a long, agonizing moment, the rope loosened slightly, allowing Gon to painfully fill his lungs. 

“Where is Ging Freecs?” The ropes loosened a bit more, urging Gon to give an answer. Gon glares up at the man with a burning fire in his eyes, chest heaving. 

“What do-” Gon lets out a wet cough, spitting blood on the floor, “-you want with Ging?” His voice sounds destroyed. Gon watches as the man’s smirk slips off his face. The ropes unravel from Gon’s neck as he flings it back, only to whip it back at Gon, sharpening the end of the iron rope and plunging it straight through Gon's right shoulder. 

Gon cries out as he feels his own blood begin to soak through his shirt and his jacket. “I saw Ging at the hunter’s association election, and I saw him agree to meet with you, so I know that you’ve seen him recently.” The man kneels down to Gon’s level, slowly retracting his rope. Every inch feels like agony in Gon’s shoulder. “Where is Ging?”

Gon’s voice sounds shattered and his teeth are gritted in pain, but he speaks clearly enough, “I. Won’t. Tell. You.” Anger flares in the man’s face and he pulls the rope back and aims for Gon’s heart this time. Gon clenches his eyes shut and waits for the blow...

But instead, he is sprayed with a warm, wet substance. It takes less than a second for Gon to smell that it’s blood. Gon opens his eyes. They go wide as he sees the man's legs still kneeling in front of him, but his torso is cut clean through the middle, and his other half lay limply on the ground. 

“Hello, kid.” Gon’s stomach drops as he hears a familiar voice. He looks up, his blood making wet dripping noises as it falls to the concrete floor. Nobunaga stands a few feet away from the body, his katana pointed down at the ground. 

“N-Nobunaga?!” Gon trips over his speech. “What are you doing here?” Gon can see Machi and another female troupe member, whose name Gon can’t remember, sitting on one of the factory machines. He remembers her as the woman he beat in an arm wrestling competition back in York New City. Nobunaga sheathes his katana and squats down next to the torso. He begins to rummage through the deceased man’s pockets as he talks. 

“What are you doing here, kid?” He doesn’t have a hint of a grin on his face, but he says it like Gon’s kidnapping was a funny joke. Machi looks disinterested and the other woman looks at Gon's face with a blank expression.

“Nobunaga, don’t patronize the boy,” she says in a high, nasally voice. Nobunaga finds what he was looking for with a subdued noise of accomplishment. He stands up, holding a small, dark box that looks as though it’s made of velvet. He pockets it quickly, turning to Gon. He stares at him, and Gon can almost hear his brain thinking. 

Gon holds his gaze, half because of his own determination, half because he is too scared to look away. Gon knows that he is no match for one member of the phantom troupe, let alone three, especially now that he doesn’t have nen. Back in York New, he was barely able to escape them, even with Killua’s help. A few moments pass before Nobunaga speaks up. 

“I think it’s no coincidence that our paths have crossed again,” Nobunaga says. He crosses his arms. “Remember when I offered to give you a chance to become a member of the phantom troupe?” Something like anger and panic flashed through Gon at the memory, or maybe his body was losing adrenaline from his shoulder wound. “We still need an enhancer…”

“I’ll never join you!” Gon spat. Nobunaga raised an eyebrow at the small boy. 

“Even if it means you’ll get your nen back?” Gon’s eyes went wide, and the glint of hope in them seemed to brighten the dark, dingy old factory. 

“You know how to get my nen back?” Gon’s breath came out slightly labored as the pain in his shoulder worsened, adrenaline rapidly depleting. “No, that can’t be right. Ging said that my nodes are sealed now.”

“C’mon kid, use your head,” Nobunaga barks. “If your nodes were closed do you think you would have survived a nen attack?” He pointed to Gon’s injured shoulder. Gon looks down at it in wonder, not put off at all by the fact that his blood looked black in the dim lighting of the factory. He understands now, and it makes sense. He should have been dead after being impaled with an iron nen rope, but here he is. Alive. 

“If... if my nodes are open, why can’t I feel my own aura anymore?” Gon’s voice cracks on the last syllable, and he fights the tears gathering in his eyes. The first thing he felt when he woke from his coma was the distinct absence of his aura, then the hollow absence of Killua, so he couldn’t help the sudden surge of emotion that ensnares his senses. 

“Simple,” Nobunaga drawls, rolling his eyes. “You’re weak.”

Gon hears those words like a punch to the gut. “It’s all your puny aura can do to prevent death in dire situations like the one you’ve just experienced.” A tear manages to escape one of Gon’s eyes. Remarkably, though, the glint of hope has not faded. 

“But with this,” Nobunaga pats his pocket, the one that held the velvet box, “I can restore your power.” Gon is so focused on Nobunaga that he misses the looks of slight doubt that crosses the other troupe members faces.

“You can?” Gon’s voice is small, incredulous. 

“Yes,” he says confidently. “And in return, you must work for me as a troupe member. You will complete any and all missions I assign you, for as long as I want your servitude.” 

Gon closes his eyes, trying to focus on his body, trying to feel his aura, as he had done so many times before waking from his coma. He doesn’t feel a thing. Maybe joining the phantom troupe isn’t my only option, Gon thinks. Now that he knows his nodes aren’t permanently sealed, he could seek out other ways of regaining his nen. He could try to contact Mr. Wing or Bisky for help. 

Gon opens his eyes and looks at the three troupe members before him, and the somber feeling of defeat creeps into his chest. While he can’t feel their auras like he used to, he can tell just by their smells and the looks on their faces. There is no friend to help him now, no creative way out of this. If he doesn’t agree to join them, they will kill him. Another tear slips. 

“I’ll do it.” 

Nobunaga grins, breaking Gon’s chains, and Gon rubs his aching wrists. The black-haired woman hops to her feet with a sigh, conjuring her nen vacuum. “I’ll clear up this mess.” She begins to suck up the remains of the hunter who had initially kidnapped Gon, while Machi made her way to the corner of the room. She picks up Gon’s bag, which was stashed there, and throws it at the boy.

He catches it with a pained grunt, wondering if she had intentionally aimed for his injury. Gon slings his bag over his good shoulder and stumbles to his feet. The world sways around him, and his knees shake. Nobunaga eyes Gon.

“You gonna be able to walk, kid?” Gon nods, which didn’t help his fatigue at all. Machi rolls her eyes at how stupid this all is. She makes a mental note to never team up on missions ever again, even if it was with Nobunaga and Shizuku, the only troupe members that didn’t always irritate her. Nobunaga nods to Shizuku, “Ready to go?”

She makes the vacuum disappear as quickly as she conjured it. The three head for the door. Nobunaga looks back at Gon, who’s still struggling to stay on his feet, his wound continuing to bleed. “You understand that if you try to run, we will kill you. Right?”

“Yeah.” Gon hates the way his voice sounds. Small and broken and weak. 

“Good.” The women and Nobunaga begin to walk out of the warehouse. Gon steps to follow them, but immediately collapses to the ground, unconscious. The trio halt at Gon’s sudden thud and look back at the small boy. 

“Go carry him,” Machi sneers at Nobunaga. The man rolls his eyes and scoops up Gon’s limp body.

“Great,” Nobunaga sighs as they walk out to their car. It’s a sleek, black SUV, expensive and fitting for troupe members. “Now I’ll have bloodstains on my shirt.” 

He lays Gon down in the backseat next to Shizuku, then hops in the driver seat, taking a few too many moments to inspect his shirt. Machi gives a loud scoff, staring at Nobunaga. “Hurry up and drive already. I want to get back to the hideout and sleep.” Nobunaga drops his shirt with a grunt and starts the car. Machi stares out at the silent, sleeping city as they drive through it. 

“Do you think you can actually do it, Nobunaga?” Shizuku inquires from the backseat. “Can you really restore this boy's power using the ferroniere?”

“I’m not sure, actually. I plan to use the boy as a test subject, and if what I’m planning works, he will be indebted to me.” Machi rolls her eyes. 

“How do you know he’ll keep his promise?” Machi asks sharply. “Who’s to say he won’t run once his power is restored?” Shizuku looks down at Gon’s sleeping face, splattered with blood. His hair is plastered to his forehead and cheeks with sweat and rainwater. She doesn’t know what compels her to, but she reaches down and brushes the locks back. 

“He’s an enhancer,” Nobunaga answers, his voice going a bit soft. “If he’s anything like Uvo, he will keep it.” Machi wants to scoff at his words but refrains, out of respect for their fallen friend. This kid is nothing like Uvo, Machi thinks to herself, just because someone has the same nen type does not mean their personalities are synonymous. The rest of the car ride is silent, and before long they made it to their hideout: a mid sized mansion located in the countryside. Far enough out to be remote, but close enough to cities for the troupe members to carry out their missions while they were in this particular nation.

Nobunaga grabs Gon and heads inside with the others. As they walk inside, Nobunaga taps Machi’s shoulder. “Can I ask you for a favor?” The woman blankly stares at Nobunaga. He knows my answer, She thinks. “A favor that this little one will repay when he regains his nen,” Nobunaga adds smartly. 

“If he regains his nen.” Nobunaga rolls his eyes at Machi’s blatant sarcasm. “What do you need?” 

“Will you patch up his wound?” Nobunaga nods down at the boy's injured shoulder. Machi glares at the man for a few long seconds before she nods, extending her arms. 

“What room is he in?” Machi asks as Nobunaga places Gon in her arms. 

“Put him in the empty bedroom next to the newbie’s room.” Machi nods and heads upstairs, taking a left towards Gon’s room. She flicks on the lights, a large chandelier hanging in the center of the spacious room. One wall is made up entirely of window panes, overlooking the courtyard of the mansion. She places Gon on the large wooden desk sitting in the corner of the room, laying the boy on his back. 

Machi makes quick work of his tattered, bloody clothes, setting them on the ground. She clicks on the lamps and shines it at his shoulder. Most of the blood is now clotted. His body is splattered with blood and grime, and she notices the beginnings of severe bruises forming on his neck. She conjures her nen needle and thread and gets to work. 

Stitching up this wound is a piece of cake, and, in normal circumstances, would only cost 1 million jenny. When she's finished, Machi unconjures her nen and turns to leave. She reaches the door when she hears a small whimper escape the boy. She can sense that he is still very much unconscious, so he must be crying in his sleep. 

Machi doesn’t feel pity for the boy, she hasn’t felt pity for anyone in a very long time, but she turns back and goes into the attached bathroom. She wets a washcloth with warm water and paces back to Gon. Machi doesn’t feel pity for him, she just knows what it’s like to be weak and injured and alone. She gently rubs away the smudges and blood splatters. She moves him to the bed once he’s clean, pulling the covers over him, then leaves without a word, flicking off the lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I don't hate Gon, he's actually my absolute fav but somehow I just keep writing angst for him. lol
> 
> Also don't mind me and my personal head cannon that Gon lowkey brings out the motherly instincts in the phantom troupe women.


	2. Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon is introduced to his new life and Killua misses him.

Killua

Killua watches as Alluka sets foot on a beach for the first time. He watches as wonder and elation lights up her face. She looks out at the surf, then scrambles to take off her shoes, and Killua follows her lead. The ocean is blue and mostly calm, and a fishing boat can be seen in the distance. Killua takes a moment to enjoy the feeling of the warm sand between his toes, before he sifts through his backpack to find the beach blanket he had packed. He spreads it out and plops down on it with a happy sigh, folding his arms under his head. Alluka falls backward onto her back, arms splayed out freely, one accidentally smacking Killua’s elbow. Her giggles are infectious and soon Killua is laughing too, the two Zoldycks happy in the moment. Alluka abruptly sits up, looking down at Killua with a wide grin plastered on her face. 

“Brother,” She starts, her voice shrill with excitement. “Can we swim now?” Killua smiles back wide. 

“I still need to teach you, don’t I?” She nods eagerly, and begins to strip down to her swimsuit. Killua began taking off his shirt, and the motion, paired with the smell of ocean and nature around him, brought back memories of his time on Whale Island with Gon. His chest begins to ache and he pauses to reach into his pocket and find his phone. Yesterday, when he tried to call Gon, the boy didn’t pick up. Killua figured he was busy and didn’t pay it any mind, but it was still unpleasant to go through the day without hearing Gon’s voice. 

“Wait a sec, Alluka,” Killua says. “I want to call Gon before we swim.” Alluka gives him a thumbs up and pulls out the manga Killua bought for her earlier. She gets comfy on the blanket and begins to read. Killua rapidly types Gons number into his phone and listens to the dial tone ring.

And ring, and ring. 

Gon

Gon wakes slowly, and oddly comfortably. He knows that he’s always been a fast healer, but after everything he remembers from the night before, he figures it would have taken more than a night to fully heal. Gon carefully flexes his pectoral muscles, and, yup, his shoulder is completely healed. He looks down at his bare chest. Not even a scar can be seen. He rubs a hand over his face and looks around. The room he’s in is spacious and sunlight shines through the enormous window on the wall opposite Gon’s bed. Suddenly, he hears voices from outside his closed door. 

“Why do I have to be the one to babysit the new recruit?” An annoyed and childish voice whines.

“All of us have things to do this morning, and you’re still proving your worth, right, Kalluto?” Gon recognizes this voice as Nobunaga’s and fear seizes his heart. Gon hates it, but he is afraid of what the man will make him do, even though he promised Gon his nen. 

“Fine,” Gon hears the person named Kalluto say. “When will the three of you be back?” Gon wracks his brain for when he’s heard the name Kalluto before. It seems so familiar.

“I can’t say the same for Shizuku or Machi, but I’ll be back within a few hours,” Nobunaga says. “I have plans for Gon this evening.” Gon gulps. 

Gon hears Nobunaga begin to step away, but he stops to add, “Also, heads up Phinks and Feitan will be arriving tonight as well.”

“Can I ask why so many troupe members are meeting up here tonight?” Kalluto inquires. 

“No,” Nobunaga easily supplies. Gon listens to his steps echo down the hall until it’s interrupted by the sound of Gon’s door opening, and Gon peers toward the person opening it. Gon’s eyes widen with a quiet gasp. He remembers now. Gon had met Kalluto two years ago when he went to Kukuroo mountain. He’s one of Killua’s siblings.

“It’s you!” Kalluto blurts, astounded. Gon sits up in the bed, letting the covers pool in his lap. “You’re Killua’s friend!” It had been a seemingly long time since hearing Killua's name out loud, and it makes Gons chest feel heavy. Gon tries his best to shake it. 

“I remember you!” Gon exclaims. “You’re a troupe member now?” Gon’s voice still sounds damaged, but talking doesn’t hurt as much as it did the night before. 

“Yes,” Kalluto replies. “I joined the phantom troupe just under a year ago.” He silently pads around Gon’s bed, sitting uniformly on the armchair next to the bedside table, the same elegant dark oak as the bed frame and other room furnishings. “Where is Killua?” 

Kalluto notices how Gon’s face falls slightly at the question. Gon draws his knees up to his chest, resting his face on his arms. “I don’t know.” Kalluto almost lashes out in frustration, but refrains, as he remembers Gon is currently nenless. He can only imagine the punishment he would receive if he were to accidentally kill Nobunaga’s new project. The only reason Kalluto joined the spiders was to try to track down his brother, and now that Killua’s beloved Gon has gotten caught in the web, even he doesn’t know where Killua is. 

Kalluto blinks back his angry tears and focuses his sight back on Gon, and is surprised to see him on the brink of tears as well. Kalluto feels an odd emotion sweep over him, and all of a sudden he knows exactly what Gon is feeling. “Did he leave you too?” 

“Yeah,” Gon’s voice is almost a whisper. “He needed to.” Gon meets Kalluto’s eyes, and usually Kalluto would do anything in his power to avoid prolonged eye contact with anyone, but Gon’s eyes are probably the most non-threatening sight Kalluto’s ever seen. 

Kalluto sort of understands now why Killua is so infatuated with this boy. “I really miss him,” Gon admits, forlornly. Kalluto is slightly perturbed by Gon’s blatant vulnerability, but he finds himself replying with the same quiet openness. 

“I miss him too.” Gon’s eyes widen slightly as his perspective shifts. Gon had initially thought that Kalluto was nothing more than a child brainwashed by Killua’s vile parents, destined for an assassin’s future, just like Illumi. It’s clear to Gon now that Kalluto is simply a younger sibling that misses their older brother. He isn’t so different from Alluka. Gon could hear the pain in his voice and it made Gon feel pity for him. Kalluto hasn’t seen his older brother in years.

A few long moments pass between the two before Gon pipes up. “Where’s Nobunaga and the others?” Kalluto looks out at the courtyard below them. 

“Out on missions,” He says. “That’s why they asked me to stay here and watch over you.” Gon sighs. As if he would try to escape now. He knows trying to run would be a death sentence. 

“Where are my clothes?” Gon climbs out of the bed, stretching his tired limbs. Kalluto pads over to the desk and picks up the pile of clothes next to it.

“Here.” Gon takes the clump of sweaty, dirty clothes, making a disgusted face at the visible clumps of dried blood. 

“Did they bring my bag here?” Both of them look around the room, Gon’s bag nowhere to be seen. “They must have left it at that warehouse they found you in.” Kalluto states, resting a finger on his chin. 

“I’m sure there must be clothes that will fit you somewhere in this house,” Kalluto thinks out loud. “I’ll go search for some.” Gon shoots Kalluto a smile and a thank you. 

“You won’t try and escape while I’m gone, right?” Gon shakes his head, honesty evident in his expression. Stepping closer to the window, Gon wraps his arms comfortingly around his body. A blue bird lands on the stone birdbath in the center of the courtyard below, chirping as it sips the water. It was certainly a beautiful day, the sky clear and blue. So different the night before. Why had that hunter wanted Ging’s location? Gon wondered. It was obvious the guy had a bone to pick with Ging, but Gon couldn’t help but wonder what had happened for that man to become so vengeful. 

Gon didn’t know where Ging went after they parted from each other, but even if he did, Gon would sooner die than give in like that. Suddenly, Gon remembers the box Nobunaga stole from the man. Maybe it had something to do with that. Gon feels enormously curious about the box. What’s inside? How is it going to restore Gon’s nen? Gon clears his mind as he hears the door open. 

“This was the closest thing I could find to your size,” Kalluto sets the folded clothes on top of the desk, along with a pair of black combat boots. “I found the clothes in Machi’s room and the boots in Shizuku’s. I think they should fit you.” Gon picks up a dark red, almost black jumpsuit made from a sturdy denim material. He holds it up to his body experimentally, then puts it on. It was somewhat form-fitting on him, but it’s comfortable enough. He pulls on the socks Kalluto brought for him and laces up the boots. Miraculously, they fit his feet like a glove. 

Gon runs a hand through his hair, turning back to Kalluto. “Am I allowed to explore the hideout?” Kalluto thinks Gon looks a bit too excited for a boy recently sentenced to indefinite indentured servitude.

“You’ll most likely be staying here for a while, so I don’t see why not.” Gon heads for the door, and Kalluto follows. “You just can’t leave.” 

With that, Gon begins combing through the mansion. All of the bedrooms are upstairs, Large and luxurious, but basically identical with the same darkly stained furniture. If Gon had to try and figure out which room belonged to whom, Gon would have no clue. When Gon tries a locked door at the end of the hall, Kalluto tells him, “That’s the staircase to the attic. Nobody’s allowed to enter, except for Chrollo.” Gon eyes it suspiciously, but leaves it, obediently. 

Gon discovers an extravagant kitchen, large enough for a small restaurant. Gon gives a small pout when he finds the pantry empty and the fridge only has some leftover salad rolls and a few cans of some energy drink. The largest room in the house is by far Gon’s favorite. It’s in the back of the mansion, and large glass doors to the courtyard are attached it’s back wall. It has a large, cozy fireplace and a whole wall lined with shelves of books, movies, board games and the center of the room has a half circle of squishy leather couches, all facing an expensive-looking flat screen. 

Gon launches himself at one, enjoying the bounce. Kalluto sits silently on the one opposite him. “This place is amazing!” Kalluto looked indifferent, but Gon supposes he must be used to such luxury, being a Zoldyck. The room looks like it could have belonged to a big, wealthy family. Gon wouldn’t have guessed this mansion is really one of the phantom troupe’s secret hideouts. 

Gon hears a car pull into the driveway and sits up. “Who’s that?” Gon asks. 

“Probably Nobunaga,” he answers. Kalluto is mildly curious as to what Nobunaga has planned for Gon. He considers following them after they leave. Kalluto has always been inclined to indulge his curiosity, even after all his years of assassin training. 

Gon cranes his neck to look through the open doorway of the living room, down the foyer to the dark double doors as the artisan door handles turn. Nobunaga enters the house and Gon’s stomach slowly begins to crawl into his throat. “Good afternoon, boys.” 

Gon notices his usual attire is gone, replaced with a simple, expensive looking black suit. Nobunaga sets his jacket on the pool table, nodding towards Gon. “How’s the shoulder, kid?” 

Gon swallows his anxiety. “Good as new!” Gon exclaims, patting the spot on his shoulder that used to be wounded. Kalluto gets up and walks to the bookshelf, choosing a volume and taking it back to the armchair. 

“Machi’s work is always flawless,” Nobunaga quips. So it was Machi who patched me up, Gon realizes. He makes a mental note to thank her next time he sees her. “Now, come with me, Gon. There’s something I want you to do.” 

Gon stands, taking a steadying breath. He looks over at Kalluto and waves goodbye. Kalluto would usually ignore such a gesture, but he finds himself waving back. Nobunaga leads Gon to the car, and soon they are zipping down a winding road. 

“Pay attention to this route,” Nobunaga instructs. “You’ll need to be able to find your way back here on your own.” Gon does as he’s told, memorizing the point where the forest becomes desertish, the turns Nobunaga makes. They enter an incredibly long tunnel, and when they emerge, it’s into a bustling city. 

“So cool!” Gon murmurs, looking up at the larger buildings that can be seen a few blocks away. Some of them look like they are made from different colors of clay, old and complex murals standing out against the blue sky. Nobunaga takes a few more turns, then parks the car. He steps out of the car quickly, calling for Gon over his shoulder. 

“Keep up.” They make their way to a pocket of the city filled with farm stands and vendors, the center of the area adorned with a large fountain, street performers stationed at different intervals around it. People sit on picnic tables in a shaded area, enjoying a variety of different foods. Gon feels his stomach growl at the sight of it, and he realizes he probably hasn’t eaten for more than forty-eight hours. Nobunaga sits on a park bench and motions for Gon to sit beside him. 

“Before the sun sets, you are to kill a kid around your age.” Gon’s lungs freeze up and he feels cold sweat bead on his neck. Slowly, he turns to look up at Nobunaga, who’s casually looking off into the marketplace, as if he were talking about the weather. 

“K-kill someone?” Gon stutters out. Nobunaga rolls his eyes. 

“Doesn’t matter which one, and make sure you make it back to the hideout by the end of the night.” Nobunaga meets Gon’s eyes, not a shred of pity for the boy in them. Nobunaga, uncharastically, feels doubt creeping up on him as he looks at the boy next to him process his instructions. Nobunaga’s hunches are never wrong, though, and so there’s no reason to doubt that Gon has the potential to be a powerful spider, given the right guidance. With that, Nobunaga stands up. 

Before he leaves Gon to complete his mission by himself, he gives the boy a piece of advice: “If you get stuck, ask yourself what a spider would do.” Gon nods slowly, eyes begging Nobunaga to take the mission back. He doesn’t, and Gon doesn’t take his eyes off of the man until he is out of sight. 

Gon stares off into nothing, a cold black feeling settling deep in his bones. He’s never killed a human being before, let alone an innocent one. Gon’s hands shake slightly as he realizes, by the time the sun sets, he’ll have become the same cruel murderer he condemns. Gon looks up at the shining sun, estimating only a mere two hours before it sets. 

“First things first,” Gon whispers to himself. He surveys the area, noticing appetizing smells coming from the grouping of market stalls across the fountain. If Gon collapses due to malnutrition, he won’t be able to kill so much as a cockroach. 

Gon hops up and walks to the nearest food stall. The man inside is baking something in a stone oven in the corner of the stall. The sign says 400 jenny per empanada. Gon slinks back to the side of the stall, then, out of view. He doesn’t have any money. Gon thinks back to the advice Nobunaga had given him. What would a spider do? 

Gon knows the answer. Stealing is something the phantom troupe is known for, second only to murder. Still, Gon pouts at the thought of theft. He’s never liked it, and never wanted to become a thief. Stealing is the least of my worries today, Gon assures himself. 

He rounds the back of the stall, peeking in through the open seam of the tarps. He waits until a customer arrives and the man turns his back to the table with the basket full of finished empanadas. Gon snatches three and bolts. He doesn’t stop to eat his food until he is back on the bench all the way across the fountain. Gon people-watches as he replenishes his energy. 

In the park nearby, there are multiple families enjoying picnics, a few engaged in a frisbee game. There are a few kids that look like they could be Gon’s age. All of a sudden, the empanada tastes like the bottom of a dumpster, but Gon continues eating nonetheless. Gon furrows his brows, thinking, no, none of those children would make good targets. All of them have either their parents or some other adult with them. It would be extremely difficult to kill one of them in the next hour. A gleaming light from the fountain catches Gon’s eyes. 

A small crowd of people, mostly small children, are gathered around a makeshift cardboard puppet stage situated in front of the fountain. Sunlight gleams off of the gems bedazzled onto the costume of the puppet as it dances and talks. Gon finishes the last of his food and wanders towards it, standing in the back of the crowd. 

For a street performer, the puppet show is excellent! The way the puppet moves and talks seems so realistic, it’s hard for Gon to believe that it isn’t alive. Soon the performance ends, and Gon joins the rest of the spectators in applause. A child steps out from behind the cardboard stage, dusting off the front of their overalls. They look like they could be around Gon’s age.

“Thank you!” They bow and smile at the people dropping change into a tip jar. After all the people clear out, Gon approaches the child. 

“Your puppet was amazing!” The child gives Gon an appreciative smile, picking up the jar and moving the money to their pocket. 

“Thank you very much.” They reply. “I’ve been puppeteering since I was five!” They begin to break down the cardboard, and Gon offers to help. 

“My name is Gon! What’s yours?” 

“I’m Retz.” Retz starts stuffing the puppet and props in their bag, then slings it over their shoulder. “It’s nice to meet you, Gon.”

Gon hands them the folded up cardboard. “Are you homeless too?” Gon almost goes to shake his head, but then realizes that he won’t be able to return to his home for a long time. Technically, Gon is homeless right now. 

Gon nods, looking Retz in the eyes. There’s a sort of understanding there, and Gon continues, “But, I’m new to town.”

Retz motions Gon to follow them, “You're welcome to stay with me for the night.” Retz offers empathetically. Gon does his best to numb the lump crawling up his throat. 

“Thank you.” Retz leads Gon into the park, following a path leading into a tree thick area. 

“I have a little set up under this bridge up ahead,” Retz supplies, “And be careful of your step, now that it’s getting dark.” Gon had no problem seeing in the dark and followed them until they ducked under a bridge, a walking path overhead. Retz turns on a battery-powered lantern, illuminating a sleeping bag off to the side, a makeshift metal grill over a fire pit, a plate and knife sitting on the floor next to it. 

Gon looks behind them at the setting sun, getting a hold of his breathing. Retz sets down the cardboard and sifts through their bag. “Aha!” they blurt and Gon looks over to see them hold out an orange. Gon watches as they set it on the plate and split it in half with the knife. 

Standing up, they offer one half up to Gon. “I know it’s not much but this is all I have to eat right now.” Gon doesn’t take it, and can’t even bring himself to muster up a smile. Gon meets Retz's eyes and sees confusion written in them. 

“I’m sorry, Retz.” Gon’s voice is quiet and watery. In the blink of an eye, he grabs the knife and buries it in Retz’s heart, ensuring a relatively quick death. The halved orange falls from their hand and they crumple to the ground. Gon listens intently, and it doesn’t take long for their heartbeat to falter and halt, and then Gon is left standing over the body of a murdered child. A good, innocent life, snuffed out in cold-blood. 

There’s a slight ringing in Gon's ears and his equilibrium gives out. He’s gasping for air as he places a hand on the underside of the bridge to keep himself upright. He thinks he might vomit, but then he hears rustling in the foliage behind him. He turns around and sees Kalluto approach him. 

“Gon,” he calls. Gon barely registers his voice. “Gon! Get a grip!” The boy jostles Gon's shoulder. “You need to get out of here. Now.” Gon swallows, taking deep breaths. He steps out from under the bridge, following Kalluto out of the park. He doesn’t look back. 

Kalluto leads them to a small car, parked on the side of the road. He unlocks the drivers side door using a hardened piece of nen paper. Luckily the car alarm didn’t go off. Kalluto climbs over into the passenger seat. “Here.” He motions for Gon to sit in the drivers seat.

“But-” Gon stumbles slightly as he approaches the car. “I don’t know how to drive.” Kalluto shrugs and hotwires the car. 

“Learn.” Gon takes a steadying breath and gets in, shutting the door behind him. Gon looks around at the interior. A long time ago, a man who lived on whale island had shown Gon how to drive a tractor. This can’t be so different. Gon adjusts the seat, so that his feet reach the pedals, then experimentally puts it in drive.

It takes a few sharp turns and brake checks for Gon to get the hang of it, but soon, Gon is driving fairly well. He remembers the way back to the hideout, despite the darkness of night that now shrouds the city. Focusing on keeping the car from veering over the fog lines helps to distract Gon from that fact that he’s a killer now. 

All the lights in the house are on when Gon pulls into the circular driveway of the mansion. Kalluto hops out and Gon tugs on the loose wires, cutting power to the car and follows Kalluto’s lead. They make it to the front step when a startling crunch of metal squeals from behind them. They whip their heads around as the door opens. 

Shizuku, Kalluto, and Gon gape at the now crunched and smoking hood of the stolen car, up against one of the stone support beams. Looks like Gon forgot to put it in park. Gon looks up at Shizuku, expecting punishment and scolding, but her face looks quite indifferent, if not slightly amused.

“That’s a tomorrow problem,” She announces, and invites the boys inside the house. Gon nods and steps inside. It’s warm. It makes him realize that he had been shivering the whole drive. “Nobunaga and everyone else is in the front room.” Shizuku says flippantly, throwing her thumb toward the room. She disappears into the kitchen. 

Nobunaga is sitting in an armchair, typing away on a laptop. Gon knows he must have sensed Gon and Kalluto entering the room, but he doesn’t look up or acknowledge them. The sound of billiard balls colliding startles Gon, and he jumps a bit. Over at the pool table, Phinks stares smugly at his opponent as his 8-ball rolls into a hole, but Feitan is too busy studying Gon. 

“You boy from auction,” Feitan spouts. “Two years ago.” Phinks looks up, locking his eyes on Gon and Gon stands still. 

“Oh yeah, it is that kid.” Phinks looks over at Nobunaga. “You still want him to join?” Phinks looks skeptical and usually Gon would feel kinda insulted, but he truly agrees at this point. Gon can’t shake the overwhelming feeling of weakness that has been weighing on him since he descended the world tree. “He’s barely grown at all since two years ago and I can tell just by looking at him that he’s gotten a hell of a lot weaker.” 

Nobunaga sighs and shuts his laptop. “I do want him to join,” Nobunaga answers, sounding a bit exasperated. “He has potential.” Phinks looks at Gon as if he were an animal with a life-threatening wound.

“Doesn’t look like it to me.” Nobunaga rolls his eyes.

“Just because he doesn’t have nen doesn’t mean he can’t be used.” Gon’s face snaps to Nobunaga. 

“I thought you had a way to get it back!” Gon blurts. Phinks and Feitan perk up at that. Phinks rounds the pool table and sits on the couch across from Nobunaga. 

“Did you find the ferroniere?” Phinks looks excited, an expression Gon could never imagine seeing on a man like Phinks. Nobunaga nods, a small smirk on his face. Gon wants to ask what this ferroniere is and what it has to do with bringing his nen back, but he has a feeling he’ll be denied an answer and probably punished. Shizuku enters the room with a plate of chocolate chip cookies, the smell reminding Gon of home. A lump crawls up his throat at the thought. 

Shizuku sets the plate on the coffee table and plops down next to Phinks. “What are we talking about?” Phinks and Feitan go straight for a cookie. 

“Nothing we can continue talking about with non-troupe members present.” Nobunaga nods to Gon. “Speaking of, how did he perform, Kalluto?” 

Kalluto steps forward. “Secured a target and gained their trust before dispatching them. Completed the mission within the time limit.” A faint, amused smile slips onto his face. “He even taught himself how to drive a car.” 

Nobunaga shoots a grin at Phinks. “See? He’s a fast learner.” Phinks scoffs, rolling his eyes. Kalluto turns to leave. 

“I’m going to my room.” Gon waves goodbye to Kalluto’s retreating form. 

“Well done, Gon.” He can’t help but internally preen at the older man’s praise, despite it coming from Gon proving efficient at killing. He hates it. “So long as you complete all your missions in this manner, I can promise you timely freedom.” 

“O-okay.” Gon wonders when he will have that. When he will have the freedom to go home, the freedom to see aunt mito. The freedom to talk to Killua again. Machi pops in, a duffel bag slung across her chest. 

“I’m leaving now.” She calls. “Bye.” 

“Wait,” Nobunaga says. “You sure you don’t want to stay for a bit longer? The boss said he’s going to stop by here in a couple days before he departs for Heavens Arena.” 

Machi tightens her ponytail. “Not that I care, but I’ll probably be back tomorrow.”

“Machi,” Gon calls out timidly. He feels like he shouldn’t be speaking when not being spoken to. “Thank you, f-for healing my shoulder.” Her eyes land on Gon, and he doesn’t quite know what to do, so he offers the woman a little smile.

“Is that my jumpsuit?” She points to the clothes Gon is wearing. He gulps, looking down at himself. Is she going to be mad at me? Gon distresses. Gon nods. 

Machi rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Keep them.” She turns to leave. “They’re too long on you anyway.” Gon looks down at the dirt caked onto the part of the pants that spill over his boots. She’s not wrong. When he looks up, the woman is gone. Shizuku looks to Gon, suddenly, and smacks a fist into her palm.

“Oh right!” She waves Gon over. “I want a rematch!” Gon tilts his head in confusion but walks over to the woman obediently.

“What rematch?” Shizuku points at the carpet on the other side of the coffee table. Gon sits down. 

“An arm-wrestling rematch.” She kneels down onto the ground, placing her elbow on the hard wood of the table. Gon's mouth makes a small o, and he follows her lead, hesitantly. He hasn’t felt particularly strong since before his coma, and so his stomach fills with anxious butterflies.

Surely enough, the moment they start, Gon’s hand smacks the table in defeat with a sharp cry. “Oh wow,” Shizuku exclaims. “He’s gotten a lot weaker.” 

Resentment boils up in Gon and he cries out, “One more time!” All the eyes are on him now and Shizuku begins to stand up, an obvious rejection. 

“Aw, c’mon Shizuku,” Phinks drawls. “Give the boy another chance.” Gon looks over to the man, noticing Feitan watching him eagerly too. Shizuku lets out a puff of air. 

“Fine.” She kneels down again and takes Gon's hand. This time, Gon counts down. 

“1, 2, 3!” Gon puts everything he has into his arm. He imagines that if he had access to his aura, he would channel as much as he could to his arm. He definitely puts up more of a fight this time, but as he begins to lose stamina, he realizes that Shizuku has probably been in a state of zetsu this whole time, for Gon’s safety. With that realization, his will breaks and he is defeated. 

“Damn it,” Phinks mutters. “I was rooting for you there, kid.” Shizuku flips him the bird before leaving the room. Gon stands up, feeling exhaustion ache throughout his body. Nobunaga sets his hand on the boy's shoulder, getting his attention. 

“Go get some rest, Gon.” Gon nods, feeling oddly at ease. “I have a mission for you tomorrow.” 

When Gon is finally alone, beneath his covers, he thinks about the day. He thinks about Retz and how their body is probably still on the ground, cold. Weirdly enough, Gon can’t bring himself to cry about killing Retz. He’ll probably have to kill more people tomorrow. 

How many people will he have to kill before he gets his nen back? How many more times will he have to contradict his own beliefs before he is freed?

The room is quiet, aside from Gon’s breathing. Before, Gon would be able to hear Killua’s soft snores as well. Gon hopes Killua is having fun traveling the world with Alluka. Killua deserves happiness, always. He wishes hadn’t lost his phone, so he could call him, if only to hear his voice. Gon falls into a fitful sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI for anyone who was wondering: After teaching Alluka how to swim, Killua asked Nanika to come out so he could teach her too.


	3. Number 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alluka tries to comfort her big brother and the weight of Gon's position sets in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so we're going to pretend like the dark continent arc isn't happening...  
> More clarification about it will be included in the notes next chapter.

Killua

Something akin to heartbreak sinks its claws into Killua when he realizes that Gon isn’t going to answer his emails or call him back. Logically, Killua knows that he may have just lost his phone, but Killua knows he has a computer on Whale Island, so how come his emails are being left unanswered? Could it be that Gon feels hurt that Killua left him? Or had Gon decided that he didn’t want to keep in touch? 

All of these thoughts made it hard for Killua to laugh or smile, and Alluka intuitively picked up on it. She stares at him from the couch, where she’s paused her video game. He stands on the balcony of their rented condo, leaning his pale arms on the rail, obviously deep in thought, and obviously sad. 

Alluka isn’t dumb, she’s seen the way Killua looks at Gon, she knows how much Gon means to him. Alluka sighs and gets up from the couch, advancing toward her brother. 

“Big brother,” She calls, shutting the screen door behind her. The air is warm and humid despite the darkness of night. From here, she can see the beach, stretching all the way down to the large city nearby. It glows with light pollution. Killua turns to her, his eyes crinkling a bit as he smiles when he sees her. He still looks sad. 

“You’re sad.” She told him. “I don’t like that you’re sad.” Killua looks taken aback, mouth opening and closing as his mind comes up blank with what to say. 

“It’s Gon, isn’t it?” Alluka points to where Killua is gripping his phone in his right hand. His eyes look a bit glassy and he nods. Alluka clutches Killuas arm comfortingly. “He’s not ignoring you on purpose, big brother.” 

“How can you know?” Killua looks doubtful, like the possibility that Gon was ignoring him because he now hated him was constantly at the forefront of his mind. At this point, it was. Alluka smiled though, because she’s also seen the way Gon looks at Killua. 

“Don’t you know how much Gon loves big brother?” Killua blushes profusely at that, but his spirits feel a bit lifted at the suggestion. He turns his head to look back at the ocean, remembering the sound of his name in Gon’s mouth and the way Gon’s eyes seemed even more big and beautiful when they met Killua’s. 

“You don’t think he hates me?” Alluka shakes her head so fast it’s comical, making Killua giggle, despite himself. His smile drops when his brain supplies him with the bleak alternative: “Is Gon…” 

Alluka remembers this expression. It’s the same one Killua wore as he led her to the hospital Gon had been staying in the day he finally made his wish. “Do you think Gon is in trouble?” 

She doesn’t know how to answer, but Killua looks as though there isn’t a thing she could say to make that expression go away. The two stand still for a few moments, only the sound of the waves can be heard.

“I know!” Alluka pipes up, tugging on the dark fabric of Killua's sweatshirt. “Let’s go to Gon’s home! That way we can know for sure!” Killua looks down in thought. When he meets Alluka’s eyes, he knows that’s what they’re gonna do. No question. 

“Okay,” Killua says. “We’ll go to Whale Island.” 

Gon

It’s still dark out when Gon is woken up abruptly, with a small, but heavy duffel bag thrown hard onto his sleeping body. He makes a noise of surprise and pain, eyes wide trying to adjust to the dark. He shoves the duffel bag off his hip, feeling a bruise start to form on his hip bone. It doesn’t take very long for Gon’s eyes to adjust, and he sees Nobunaga standing at the foot of his bed, looking down at the sleepy boy expectantly. 

“That’s yours now,” Nobunaga declares in his usual commanding drawl. Gon reaches for the duffel, noticing all of the pockets sewn into the sides and the durable fabric. It was something Gon would ask Aunt Mito to make him. “It should have everything you’ll need.” 

Gon unzips it and takes out its contents, laying everything out on the bed. There were some clothes, all darkly colored. Gon’s delighted to find a couple pairs of utility shorts, because he very much liked shorts better than pants, even in the cold months. Most notable is the thick, black cloak. There are also two handguns, and three knives. One of the handguns is nestled in a leather thigh holster, and the other has a holster that can be attached to a belt. “I’ll be downstairs,” Nobunaga tells the boy. “Don’t make me wait.”

Gon hurries to put on his new clothes, half because the faster he moves his body, the faster he’ll warm up, half because Nobunaga told him to. Gon surprises himself when he buckles the thigh holster correctly on the first try. He fastens the cloak around his neck as he trots down the stairs. It fits perfectly, falling just below his thigh strap. It conceals his weapons excellently. 

“Ready to go!” Gon cheers. 

Nobunaga ushers him out the front door. He leads Gon to his car, and Gon hops into the passenger seat. He hadn’t been able to get a good look, before, at the type of car Nobunaga drives, and now that he has, he’s impressed. It looks sleek and even smells like a brand new car. 

“The boss will be arriving tomorrow to approve your status as a new member of the spiders,” Nobunaga explains as he cruises down the road. The sunrise starts to brighten the forest surrounding them. “Which means you will not return to the hideout until you have proven your efficiency in assisting troupe business.” 

“Isn’t that what I did yesterday?” Gon questions harmlessly. 

“No, yesterday was a test to make sure you would kill whoever I want with no hesitation.” Gon shivers a bit at the thought of how easy it was to pass that test. “If you can’t prove yourself now, there’s no reason for Chrollo to stop here on his trip to Heaven’s Arena.” 

Gon’s curiosity peaks at that. “Chrollo is going to Heaven’s Arena?” He involuntarily tilts his head to the side, a motion similar to that of a puppy.

“Why is he going there?”

“He is planning to fight Hisoka there.” Gon’s eyes go a bit wide. 

“Wow…” Gon stares off into the passing shrubbery, pondering the outcome of the fight. Who would win? It was definitely a close matchup, Gon decided. 

Gon sighs, wishing he could go to Heaven’s Arena just to watch. Just then, the forest around the road clears as the road curves along the edge of a cliff. Out Gon’s window, a beach can be seen at the bottom of the cliff. The ocean expands out to the horizon, a sparkling blue. Gon stares at it wistfully.

Nobunaga snaps his fingers, getting Gon’s attention. He points up the road to a very luxurious-looking coastal city, with a few tall skyscrapers, all made out of glass and platinum. “This is Sapphire city, a place where billionaires, politicians, and CEO’s go for undocumented meetings, underground business and… leisure.” 

Nobunaga drives into the heart of it, and up close Gon notices a multitude of smaller, but ornate buildings. He recognises them as night clubs and casinos, places Leorio would probably enjoy spending time at. 

Nobunaga stops the car in front of one of the night clubs, walls painted an obnoxiously bright magenta. It’s sign reads “Minx Club, exotic dancers and private shows,” and was adorned with a tacky looking outline of a woman’s body. 

“Here, Gon,” Nobunaga hands the boy an envelope. Gon pulls out a clean photograph of a middle-aged man with a thick, short beard. “That's your target,” Nobunaga explains. “He’s the political rival of one of this nation’s leaders. She’s promised to abide by any instruction I happen to give her for the remainder of her time in office, so long as we take out her rival.”

Gon nods, soaking up the information like a sponge. Gon feels a bit curious as to what Nobunaga wants with control over a country, but decides not to pry. “Sources say he will most likely attend this club sometime this weekend. It’s important to note that he will most likely be heavily protected.” 

Gon’s eyebrows furrow. Just how powerful will this protection be?

“Will there be any nen-users involved?” Gon asks, knowing that all it would take to kill him as he is now would be a simple nen attack. Nobunaga looks down his nose at Gon.

“There might be,” He answers flippantly. “You are to carry out your mission nonetheless. Bring me his head.” 

Nobunaga almost lets slip an amused smile as he watches a look of pure determination grace Gon’s features. “Here,” Nobunaga pulls out an old generation cell phone. It was compact, but so heavily dated that it could only receive calls. “This is for communication with troupe members only. I’ll know if you try to contact any of your friends.” Gon takes the small phone and secures it in one of the zip-up pockets of his shorts. 

“Your alignment with the phantom troupe is not to be shared with your friends quite yet. Do you understand?” The boy nods, looking Nobunaga in the eyes with sincerity. Gon puts his hood up and opens the car door. 

“Oh, and Gon-” Nobunaga pipes up before Gon leaves. “When you go inside, ask to talk to Tabitha. She’ll steer you in the right direction.” 

Gon nods his head again, then shuts the door and watches the black SUV make a swift U-turn and speed back the way it came. Gon takes a quick grounding breath and steps towards the front doors of the club. 

“How can I help you?” A nasally, female voice drawls as he silently strides inside. Gon steps up to the bar, where a woman with cascading waves of red hair sits, going through a pile of papers and files. She doesn’t even spare a glance at him. Gon goes to open his mouth, but the woman interrupts him. “All the dancers' timeslots for this weekend are full, so don’t even bother.” 

“I’m not a dancer.” She finally looks up at him and she lets out an ugly snort. 

“Not with that get-up, hunny.” She goes back to her task without a second glance. Gon looks down at his black cloak and his clunky combat boots. Definitely not dancing clothes, he supposes.

“I need to speak to Tabitha.” The woman looks suddenly perplexed. 

“The owner? What business do you have with her?” Gon doesn’t answer and the silence drags on long enough for Miss redhead to huff and roll her eyes. “Whatever. She’s in the upstairs office.” 

She points to an inconspicuous staircase behind one of the stages in the open expanse of the club to the bar’s left. He offers the woman a thank you, but she acts as though she didn’t hear it. The stairs lead to a hallway, dimly lit, with pictures of scantily clad women posing in groups lining the hall. Each picture looks older than the next.

Gon knocks at the door at the end of the hall and hears a raspy, “Come in!” sound from behind it. 

An older-looking lady sits behind a desktop computer in an unexpectedly spacious room. Industrial shelves line the walls, holding boxes marked with decor, and a costume rack sits on the far side of the room. Gon walks up to her, taking off his hood. “Are you Tabitha?” 

She squints at Gon for a second, putting down her pen. “Who’s asking?” When Gon tells her he’s here on behalf of Nobunaga, the woman pales.

“You all are after that goddamn politician, aren’t you?” Gon wasn’t sure he should reveal his entire mission like that, so he stays silent and Tabitha rants into his silence. 

“I knew the moment that man reserved his first private room I should have banned him from the premises! People that believe they will make a change in our country’s old government get killed, and that’s just that.” She opens a drawer at her knee and lights up a cigarette. She offers one to Gon, but he shakes his head. She stares Gon down as she slowly takes a drag. She doesn’t seem to be intimidated by Gon at all, but he can tell she’s had history with the phantom troupe before, and, by the nervous way her left leg bounces, it wasn’t a good one. 

“I suppose I have no choice but to help you,” She sighed. It suddenly popped into Gon’s head that, should she have denied him assistance, it would have been expected of him to torture or blackmail the woman into cooperation. Think like a spider. “You can work the floor tonight, I’ll have Ashanti give you some clothes in the dressing room.”

Gon nodded in gratitude. “Be back here by 9:00pm.” Tabitha looked a bit anxious despite her stern tone of voice. 

“Thank you.” Gon turns to leave. Gon steps out of the night club and begins scouting the city. Only about five blocks away from the forest where the road back to headquarters, and ten blocks in the opposite direction to get to the boardwalk. He finds a multitude of shady-looking businesses, and even sniffs out two freshly murdered men in a narrow alleyway between two buildings. He leaves them to the crows. 

Gon finds something to eat and sits on the wooden roof of a shop on the boardwalk. The wood is warm against his bare legs and Gon revels in the sun as it begins to set. The clasp of his thigh holster digs into his skin a bit uncomfortably, but he is too deep in thought to pay it any mind. 

More and more often, Gon finds himself getting lost in thoughts and memories of Killua. It leaves a lonely twinge in his heart when he does, but the habit is truly involuntary. Gon knows Killua had always hated killing people, but Gon also knew that he was very good at it. Killua would probably have already tracked down and killed the target by now. Killua was so amazing. Gon thanks his lucky stars that he became friends with Killua, even if it was seemingly short-lived. 

Wait. Short-lived? No. Gon was going to see him again, he was sure of it. Someday, after he’s free from the phantom troupe, after he’s regained his nen so Killua won’t have to worry about protecting him.

The prospect seemed so far away, like the sun right in front of him, disappearing over the horizon. The ocean looks so blue and it glitters so beautifully. It looks like Killua’s eyes. 

Fat tears well in Gon's eyes and spills over before he’s able to wipe them away. His strength fades and he falls down onto his back, looking up into the darkening sky.

He wishes he wasn’t so alone. He wishes he wasn’t so weak. He wishes things could have gone differently back in East Gorteau, so maybe he could still be by his best friend's side. Killua had forgiven him, but Gon had a black, all-encompassing feeling that Killua had left him because Killua had decided Gon was unworthy of his friendship. 

His tears began to wet the hair behind his ears. That black feeling hurt unlike anything Gon had ever felt before. Gon stares at the stars through his tears, wondering if Killua might be looking up at them too, wherever he is. Gon pulls out his cellphone, and it reads 9:00, so he takes a deep breath and heads back to Minx Club. 

The city really comes to life in the nighttime. All the buildings have different colored lights and it looks as though the entire city were having a party. Gon slips into the club with his hood on, floating past people in expensive-looking clothes, scrunching his nose at the smell of cocktails and liquor. He makes it to the stairs behind the stage, and marches up to Tabitha’s office. She directs him to the dressing room where the red-haired woman from before is waiting for him. 

“Hey, it’s you again. I’m surprised you managed to snag a floor job for the night.” Gon gives her a smile, to which she doesn’t return. In the dressing room, other women sit at mirrors, fixing their appearance, or changing into skimpy little outfits. Gon notices a few people that look like they could be his age. “Here.” 

Ashanti hands Gon a few garments, one of them being a bikini top. “Ummm,” Gon voices to the woman. “I don’t think I have what I need to fill this out.” Ashanti looks at Gon with confusion. He takes off his cloak, revealing his completely flat chest. (He had already stashed his weapons in Tabitha’s office.)

“You’re a boy!?” Gon nods sheepishly. Ashanti takes the bikini top from his hands. “No matter, no matter. Wait right here.” She walks into a walk-in closet off to the right and comes back with a long-sleeved crop top made of the same shimmery teal material of the short skirt he was given. “There. Now try it on.” 

Gon strips down to his underwear and then goes to put the skirt on, but Ashanti flicks him painfully on the shoulder. “Uh-uh. Shorts come off too. Don't worry, there's built in underwear on the skirt.” 

Gon reflexively blushes, but does as the woman says. They fit him snugly, and, honestly, the cool, slinky material feels good on his skin. It’s so short, though, Gon feels rather exposed. 

He puts on the matching top, and it stops just under his nipples, which again, makes him feel exposed, but the sleeves flow outward towards the end and seem to float around his wrists in a lovely way. Ashanti finishes him off with black thigh-high tights and dark make-up, but not before wiping away his visible tear-tracks. “No man wants to be waited on by a sad girl.”

Gon looks up and tells her, “I’m not a girl.” She looks him in the eye with a smile that didn’t really look like a smile.

“But you are sad.” After she finishes, he mentally thanks her for not making him wear the super-high heels all the other girls are wearing. 

He looks at himself in the mirror and does a double-take. He looks like a whole new person living a completely different life. Gon had never been interested in wearing girl’s clothes before, but he found that he certainly didn’t mind it. The only problem here is that the clothes are so scant that he won’t be able to hide any weapons on his person. He gives Ashanti a quick thank you and heads back up to Tabitha’s office. 

“Welcome back,” She tells him, looking him up and down in assessment. 

He waves and digs through the pockets of his utility shorts to find his switchblade. He stashes it in his boot, the only place he could have hidden anything. Tabitha eyes the knife with distaste. “Working the floor is easy, just go around the lounge and wait on the clients. Your shift won’t be finished until 5.”

Gon nods and heads out onto the floor. He watches the other girls and picks up on what to do easily. Within fifteen minutes he’s charming wealthy men and women into spending incredible amounts of money.

Working here really isn’t so different than accompanying the lonely women that would approach him on whale island. Every now and then, one of them would watch him for too long, and Gon would shiver and try to get away quickly. A few even had the audacity, or maybe they were just drunk, to grab at his hips and his butt. Gon did his best to steer clear of those ones. 

Halfway through the night, Ashanti approaches him with a fresh tray of drinks. “This one’s going to the party that just came in.” She hands it to him. “They’re over there.” She points to a half circle of lounge couches in the corner of the floor, where a group of men in expensive suits sat, some holding women on their laps. Gon nods and heads over. 

He easily balances the tray with one hand and passes out cocktails with the other, offering them all a charming smile. The same smile he knew the lonely women from the boats that docked at Whale Island’s harbor liked. One of the men in the group takes his drink, but steps closer to Gon, crowding him against a wall. 

“You sure you don’t want a taste, sweetheart?” Gon stares up at the man, feeling a bit like he should run away, but Gon stands his ground. He had a role to sell. 

“I can’t drink yet,” Gon chirps up at the man. “I’m underage.” The man places a large hand on the junction of Gon’s hip and leg, pinky sliding underneath the skirt. 

“All the better…” The man goes to lead Gon away, but one of his companions kicks at his shin from where he sits. 

“C’mon man, you know you can’t book a private room without reservation,” Gon looks over to him, eyes widening just a tad. “We went over this last time. Besides this one looks like she’s new here” He finishes with an eye roll. His beard confirms it for Gon. This man is his target. 

“Sorry about him.” Gon’s target shoots the boy an apologetic glance, and Gon fakes a pleasant smile and slips away. 

Gon deposits the tray back at the bar and tells the bartender he’s going for a break. The knife feels heavy in his boot as he trots up the employee-only stairs leading to the floor overlook. He rests his hands on the safety bars and watches his target, sitting in the lounge with his group of companions. They all seem to be talking to each other and none of them look like bodyguards. 

Gon concludes that he will wait and keep an eye out for when the man leaves the club and kill him then. Just as Gon is about to step down from the overlook, his phone buzzes in his opposite boot. He answers on the second ring. “Hello?” 

“Change of plans, Gon,” Nobunaga speaks languidly into the phone. Gon’s stomach tightens. “The target’s protection knows there is an assassin in the club tonight. My source says they are assigned to dispatch any threats as opposed to avoidance.” 

Gon gulps. “O-okay…” 

“Your life is only as valuable as your usefulness to me, understand?” Gon nods, a cold, desperate feeling spreading through his chest. 

“Y-yes, Nobunaga.”

“Do not fail me tonight.” With that, he hangs up, and Gon hastily shoves the phone into his boot and looks over the railing, frantically searching for his target. He can’t spot the bearded man anywhere, but as he looks around he notices something very different about the energy in the club. His heartbeat quickens a bit. 

And then he sees the first one. A man in all black, tall and bulky, and oozing bloodlust. Gon knows it’s directed at him. Then he notices another man dressed similarly at the entrance. 

Oh no, Gon thinks, Have they blocked the exits?

Gon checks the employee entrance and the two emergency exits. Both are manned by the target’s protection units. Gon realizes, coldly, that they intend to find him and kill him here in the club. They may have already figured out that he’s posing as an employee. 

Gon’s brain then supplies him with a detail, one that leaves the freezing feeling of fear in his chest. His target had mentioned that Gon looked like a new employee. 

They knew he was in the building and they knew what he looked like. Gon no longer had the upper hand here. Gon stares down at the club below him. People dance on the dance floor, and the whole place pulses with bass. A dazzling young woman is dancing gracefully on a pole, her muscles flexing with strength and her glittery eyeliner blinking in the dim lights. 

Customers drink and mingle and Gon decides the only way out of here is through blood. He stops himself from reaching down for his knife, realizing that if he was able to sense the bloodlust trickling from the men down there, they will most likely sense Gon’s bloodlust as well. 

Gon gets an idea, one he isn’t sure will work, but he believes the chances of success are in his favor. He was able to master zetsu before ever knowing anything about nen. He might be able to implement zetsu now, even though he’s nenless. It’s worth a shot. 

He takes a deep breath, envisioning the hunt, and imagining his presence fading behind the energies around him. He picks up his knife to test it.

None of the protection units below him pick up on his bloodlust, so it must be working. Gon can’t help but smile at the accomplishment. He feels a surge of confidence bubble up in his body and he bounds down the stairs, not as worried about what he now has to do. 

Gon moves through the crowds of people effortlessly and the dim, bouncing lights do well to hide his body as he slinks towards his first target, knife in hand. Once they’re in Gon’s sights, their throat is sliced open in such a fast burst of speed, nobody around them can tell what had happened for the person to suddenly start spewing blood from their carotid artery. Instantaneously, people scream and panic, rushing for the exits. 

It’s within the chaotic panic that Gon’s bloodlust comes alive. He slips through oceans of people and dispatches his targets with ease. It seems to Gon that his knife is a paintbrush and this nightclub is his canvas. 

Each smooth slice of a throat is met with a satisfying spray of red. Gon doesn’t have to engage in combat with a single protection unit. By the end of it, when most of the patrons have fled and the employees are all huddled behind the bar, peering out at Gon’s finished composition, Gon is no longer in zetsu. He surveys the area, looking for his target. The one place he never checked was the restrooms. 

In the second stall, Gon finds his target on his knees, begging for his life. Looking into the eyes of a person who knows that they are going to die brings Gon back to reality, jumpstarts his brain into registering everything he had just done. 

Gon looks down at his own body, the once shimmery, beautiful blue fabric of his disguise is now drenched in fresh, warm blood, turning it into a sick, dull purple. Gon looks back to his target. 

“I’m sorry!” Gon sobs at the man, then moves his arm in as quickly as he can, slitting his target's throat, just as he did to all the people the man hired for protection. 

Incredulously, Gon breathes a sigh of relief. His mission is over, and he can head back to the hideout. Now, he can show Nobunaga and Chrollo, and all the others that he isn’t worthless. Gon looks down at the body, then at his knife. No way, Gon thinks to himself. No way this little knife will be able to sever the man’s head.

Gon stashes the knife back in his boot and heads back to the floor, stepping over bodies to make it back to Tabitha’s office. He steps inside, not bothering to knock this time, and the woman has a horror-stricken look on her aged face. 

It’s one of the oddest expressions Gon’s ever seen, both stunned and yet knowing that this would be the outcome of the night. She doesn’t say a word as he buckles his thigh strap to his right thigh and secures his belt holster to his hip, just above where the skirt starts. 

As he’s leaving though, she tells him, quietly, “The police will be here in a few minutes.” 

Gon nods apologetically and sprints back to the bathroom, ignoring the stares of the employees cleaning up the floor and comforting each other. Gon uses the larger, serrated knife holstered to the line of belt across his back to sever the man's head. The employee’s watch in horror and disgust as Gon exits through the back entrance, holding the dripping head by it’s hair. 

Gon heads to the top of a nearby building, staring out blankly at the loud, bright police cars as they pull up to Minx Club. He needs to get out of this town asap.

Gon wasn’t paying very good attention to Kalluto when he hot wired that car yesterday, so Gon’s only option is to start running. Gon finds the road heading back the way he came and begins to jog along it, veering into the foliage everytime a car approaches. He would hate if he had to kill another innocent because they try to stop and help him. 

Gon had always been an athletic individual, and endurance tests were never a struggle for him, But he found that running back to the hideout to be rather difficult. 

Certainly more difficult than any other endurance test. He’s maybe a mile away from the mansion when his knees suddenly buckle and he crumples to the floor of the forest, his target's cold head rolling away from him. 

“Why?” Gon whispered out loud, tears gathering in his eyes. “Why is this so hard…” The distance between the mansion and that town was less than the first phase of his hunter’s exam. So why did it feel like all of his muscles were burnt up, and all of his strength was fleeing? 

Even in the darkness, Gon can see the canopy above him perfectly, and his soul finds a bit of comfort in the swaying of the green leaves. 

Gon looks to his side, straight into the dead eyes of his target, and the tears spill over and all of the comfort leaves Gon with the speed and intensity of a bullet train. He stays there, on the earth of the forest, sobbing until he’s dry heaving, and eventually he has to catch his breath. 

You can’t stay down here for too much longer, Gon tells himself. If you don’t get up, you might die here.

Gon opens up his tear ridden eyes, watching the stars twinkle behind the canopy. Maybe I should stay here and die, Gon thinks. 

What good is it to get my nen back, if I’ll just be using it to kill innocents on missions like this? Gon thinks, defeatedly. Gon lays there for a long time, feeling oddly numb, both in his head and in his tired, underdressed body. 

Behind the trees overhead, the sky starts getting a bit brighter. The sun must be coming up now. Suddenly, Gon’s mind is flooded with memories of all of the sunrises he’s seen in the past couple of years, and for almost every one of those sunrises, Gon had Killua by his side. 

Gon smiles involuntarily, remembering the quirk of Killua’s lips and the affection in his eyes everytime Gon caught him staring and how he made Gon feel brighter than any sunrise. 

If you die here, Gon’s brain supplies him, you’ll never get to see Killua again.

A few more tears stream down his face at the realization, but it gives Gon enough strength to pick himself up and grip a lock of the head’s hair in his hand. He wipes his face with his sleeve, and starts running again. It takes him a mere five minutes to reach the mansion.

The front door is unlocked when he gets there, which is unusual, but Gon appreciates not having to knock and bother somebody to come open it. Gon heads inside, his boots sounding heavy against the polished wooden floor. The house is silent, and the main room looks to be empty, despite one of the lamps glowing behind the doorway. 

“Hello.” A smooth voice calls to Gon as he enters the room. Gon’s foggy mind doesn't quite register that someone is there until he’s collapsed onto the couch, his strength all burned up. “You’re going to stain the couch, Gon.”

Gon focuses his eyes in the dim light and sees Chollo Lucilfer standing by the bookcase, looking over Gon in a way that made the boy shiver. 

“Chrollo?” 

The man steps closer to Gon, and Gon notices he looks different than he did back in York New. His inky black hair is down, and he’s wearing more casual clothes, slacks and button-up, but it still looks wildly expensive. “It’s nice to meet you properly, Gon Freecs.” 

Gon lifts his arm to shake Chrollo’s extended hand, and he can’t help the feeling of intimidation that comes over him, shaking hands with the leader of the spiders, one of the most powerful people in the world. Gon slumps back limply. 

“Rough mission?” The man asks, and Gon nods, his big doe eyes beginning to droop. Gon sort of wishes that Chrollo hadn’t seen him like this, barely clothed and dirty. “You look like you had fun, though.”

Chrollo sits next to Gon and rubs the stained fabric on top of his thigh between his thumb and index finger, noticing the blood had seeped onto Gon’s skin. “I’ll get you cleaned up.” 

Before Gon can protest, Chrollo gather’s him up in his arms and carries him to the kitchen.

He flicks on the lights and sets Gon down on the counter next to the sink. He gently takes the severed head, still in Gon’s firm grip, and places it in the far side of the sink. “What are you doing…” 

Gon doesn’t have the strength to oppose Chrollo, even if he hadn’t just had one of the most emotionally and physically taxing nights of his life. Chrollo reaches into a cupboard and pulls out an unused dishcloth, wetting it under the faucet. “Trust me.”

Judgement has never been Gon’s strong suit, so he does. He supposes he would have to trust Chrollo, now that he would be a spider. He’s honestly surprised at the man’s sudden outward kindness. 

Gon begins to sway on the counter, losing the strength to sit upright, but Chrollo places a steadying hand on his waist. With the other, the man begins to wipe off the thick coatings of blood, starting with gon’s chest and shoulders.

Chrollo works his way down Gon’s body, and Gon lets out a small whimper when he starts to rub his sensitive inner thighs, which is odd to Gon, because there isn’t any blood on them. Chrollo leans in close as he whispers to him. 

“It’ll be okay, Gon.”

Gon involuntarily shivers and the man leans Gon forward, resting the boy’s head against his shoulder so he can wipe up the blood on his back. 

Underneath his pleasant cologne, Gon picks up on the heady, intimidating smell of Chrollo’s unique scent. Gon’s always been able to identify people by their scents, a skill that he picked up living in the forests around Whale island. 

Despite his calm and collected personality, Chrollo’s scent is unmistakably predatory. 

It’s then that Gon’s consciousness starts to fade in and out, and Chrollo must notice it because the hand at Gon’s waist slides up his back and Chrollo runs his fingers through Gon’s hair comfortingly. Gon barely notices Chrollo tossing the soiled dishcloth into the sink.

The man pulls Gon forward, picking him up off of the counter and holding the boy to his chest. Gon’s head still rests languidly on Chrollo’s shoulder. He squirms, slightly, at the way Chrollo’s large, cold hand grips underneath is thighs, but by the time Chrollo makes it to the staircase, Gon’s vision blacks out and he finally loses all consciousness. 

-

The next morning, Gon wakes up feeling just as emotionally exhausted as the night before, but his body feels loads better. Gon opens his sleepy eyes with a yawn, reveling in the golden beams of the setting sun outside his window. Wait. Setting sun?

Gon scrambles out of bed disorientedly, wondering how long he had been asleep. Gon looks down and realizes he’s butt naked. He doesn’t remember taking his clothes off. The last thing he remembers is passing out on Chrollo’s shoulder. 

That’s right! Chrollo had been taking care of him. 

Gon notices his duffel bag sitting on the floor next to the bed. He pulls out a pair of underwear and shorts and puts them on. He notices something on the desk.It’s a sweater. 

The thick black fabric falls off his shoulder a bit, but it’s warm. It reminds him of a time back at Heaven’s arena, when Killua let Gon wear his sweater on their walk back to his room from Wing’s apartment. It had warmed Gon to the core and smelled comfortingly like his best friend. It was slightly too big for him, so it fell off his shoulder in the same way. 

Gon isn’t surprised when his heart gives a painful twinge at the memory. 

Gon finds his boots, pulls them on, and heads downstairs. He peeks his head in the main room, small hands gripping the entry frame. He finds the room to be filled with troupe members. 

Phinks, Feitan, and Franklin are engaged in an intense game of pool, and Kortopi and Kalluto sit on stools nearby, watching them. Settled on the couches are Nobunaga, Shizuku, Machi, and Chrollo, deep in a conversation. Gon notices that little velvet box sitting on the coffee table, and he eyes it curiously. 

Gon is broken out of his reverie when he feels a pair of eyes on him. He looks up, meeting the gaze of Chrollo, who smiles with that amorous smile of his.

“Good morning, sunshine,” He tells Gon. 

Gon returns it with a beaming grin. “Goodmorning!”

The boy plops down on the couch between Machi and Shizuku, facing Nobunaga and Chrollo. “Although, it’s not really morning…” 

Gon sits with his legs crossed and his hands, which were covered with the sleeves of his sweater, in his lap. If the women next to him dislike the way his knees bump into them, they don’t say anything about it. 

“How long was I out?” 

“Only for the day,” Nobunaga answers. “Decent recovery time, considering the state the boss told me you were in when you came back.” 

Machi’s brows furrow in concern at that, and she looks over at Gon, scanning him for any visual injuries. “Are you hurt, Gon?”

Gon shakes his head in response. Nobunaga chuckles a bit, at the involuntarily gentle way she regards the boy. 

“No physical injuries,” Chrollo supplies. Gon stares at him bashfully. 

“Thank you,” Gon tells him. “For taking care of me last night.” 

Chrollo smirks. “My pleasure.” 

The rest of the spiders roll their eyes. 

“Chrollo tells me you successfully and flawlessly completed your mission within mere hours of receiving it.” Nobunaga says. “The only complication being your detrimental emotional state following your assignment, but that can be improved over time.” 

Gon feels a bit small in light of Nobunaga’s assessment. “Flawless?”

“My plan failed, though…” Gon’s eyes go unfocused as he remembers the panic of finding out that he was being hunted, how the tables were turned on him in the blink of an eye. “I ended up getting the police called to that club. I barely made it out in time.”

Shizuku speaks up then. “That’s not failure. The law isn’t an issue for us.” 

Gon looks up at her, his head tilting in confusion. There’s a pause of silence before Shizuku gets the hint that she should elaborate. 

“We are the phantom troupe, Gon,” She explains. “Even if you hadn’t made it out before the police got there, you could have just killed the police too.” 

Gon eyes widen a bit at the simple resolution. All he needed to do is think like a spider. 

“Besides that, Gon,” Chrollo announces. “Your performance is grounds for accepting you as a member of the phantom troupe.” 

The people across the room pause their game of pool to look over at Gon. Impossibly, Gon feels proud of himself. He isn’t worthless. He’s proved to all of these powerful people that he can help them, maybe even become as strong as them one day.

Feeling needed has always fed Gon’s soul in a way not many other things could. 

“What number will he be?” Phinks asks. Chrollo conjures his book and steps toward Gon. The boy stands in response. 

“He will have 9. Paku’s number.” Gon had a hand in killing her, so the exchange seems fitting. 

He can’t see it, but the aura around the book slithers to Gon, covering him with it. He can feel it tingle on his skin, even the skin covered up by his clothing. 

Chrollo uses this nen ability only for troupe members. Suddenly, a searing pain engulfs the small of Gons back. The room is silent except for Gon’s gasps and whimpers. The boy is frozen in pain. 

All too soon, the pain stops, and Chrollo makes his book disappear, along with the nen. Chrollo gently takes Gon’s sweater off, revealing the large spider tattoo engulfing the boy's slim lower back.

The front legs reach up to the space below his shoulder blades, and a couple legs disappear under the hem of his pants. Chrollo traces a finger across it, and Gon notices that it isn’t painful anymore. From the front, the tips of the remaining spider's legs can be seen, but they stop a few inches from his navel. 

Gon looks up at the boss’ face, feeling almost delighted at the way Chrollo’s studying his skin. A small smile graces Gon's face.

Chrollo meets Gon’s wide eyes. “Welcome to the phantom troupe, Gon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan for Gon to get cared for by a troupe member at the end of each mission, but I'm not complaining (and neither is Gon).


	4. New and Untested

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua searches for his best friend and Gon continues to be mercilessly used by the Phantom Troupe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, we really are gonna pretend the dark continent arc isn't happening. 
> 
> Also, sorry for not updating for so long hehe 😅.

Killua

Killua hands Alluka her back pack as the siblings prepare to arrive at Whale Island. She’s humming happily, to the tune of a song one of the sailors offered to play for them on his harmonica the night before. Alluka follows her brother out onto the deck, where other passengers are waiting to unboard. Dark, dense rain clouds roll in as the ship’s anchor descends to the bottom of the harbor.

By the time Alluka and Killua set foot on the ground, rain is pattering down on the little island below. The hyetal weather seems out of the ordinary to Killua, but he supposes that’s only because he’s never been on whale island during its winter. They set off towards Gon’s house.

Alluka shivers a bit, at the rain, wringing her hair out periodically. She’s obviously not accustomed to rain, and her brother can tell she doesn’t like the way that the wet mud sticks to her boots. Killua shoots her a supportive smile over his shoulder, and she feels a bit better. The sooner they make it to Gon’s house, the sooner they can get out of the rain. 

“You know what me and Gon used to do, when we got caught in the rain?” Alluka hums curiously in response. She loves hearing about Killua’s adventures with Gon. 

“We would catch it on our tongue. Like this,” Killua sticks his face up to the sky, opening his mouth up wide and sticking his tongue out, letting the raindrops fall on it. 

Alluka giggles and does the same. After a bit, Killua brings his face down and looks up ahead, seeing Gon’s house come into view. A warm welcoming feeling fills his soul at the sight. As they get closer, he sees aunt Mito hurriedly ripping sheets off of the clothesline and rushing inside. 

“Aunt Mito!” Killua calls to her, waving a hand. Halfway through the door, she whips her head around. The woman’s eyes fall on Killua and a smile graces her face. Killua walks up to the porch and hears a noise of surprise and a wet plop from behind him. He turns around to see Alluka face first in the mud. 

“Alluka!” Killua hurries to help her up, and aunt Mito follows his lead. Alluka is covered with wet mud. 

“Oh dear, let’s get you inside,” aunt Mito murmurs, leading the young girl into the house. Killua and Alluka make sure to toe off their shoes before stepping on the carpet. 

“It’s good to see you, Killua!” Mito smothers Killua with a tight hug, and Killua welcomes it. She pulls back and motioned towards Alluka. “And who is this?” 

Killua puts his hands on Alluka’s shoulders, careful not to get mud on them. “This is my little sister, Alluka!” He declares with a proud smile.

The smile Alluka offers Mito is very charming, despite half her cheek being covered in mud. 

“Well!” Mito says, with warm, motherly eyes. She reaches out and takes both of Alluka’s hands into her own. “Nice to meet you, Alluka. What do you say I help you out of those soiled clothes and into a bath? I think I have an old dress you could wear too…” 

Alluka looks to Killua for permission and he nods, letting go of her shoulder. There aren't a lot of people he would trust to take care of his sister, but aunt Mito is definitely one of them. 

“Feel free to make yourself some tea, there’s a kettle on the stove!” Aunt Mito calls to Killua as she leads Alluka up the stairs. He rubs his hand up the sides of his arms for a bit of warmth and decides a cup of hot tea would be nice. 

He sits at the dining table, watching the rain continue to pour outside as he sips his tea. Maybe Gon is out there in the rainy forest somewhere. A minute later, aunt Mito comes down the staircase, and she sits down in a chair adjacent to Killua. 

“I’m very happy to see you safe and sound, Killua, but please, tell me, where’s Gon?” 

Killua’s stomach fills with unease and it seems to show on his face because a crease appears between Mito’s eyebrows. “He’s not here?” 

Aunt Mito shakes her head, sighing. “He hasn’t even sent me letters like he used to.” She looks sad, in a tired kind of way, like she was almost expecting him to become out of touch. “I’m surprised he isn’t with you.” 

Killua feels a bit guilty at that, but he swallows it down. He has more important things to be worrying about. Like where Gon has disappeared to. “We, uh-” 

Mito looks at Killua intently.

“We went our separate ways…” 

“I needed to look after my sister, and he needed to go see his dad so we just…” Saying it out loud made a lump form in Killua’s throat. 

“He found Ging?” Killua nods, suddenly feeling proud of his best friend for fulfilling his goal. 

“But after that he didn’t answer any of my calls or texts or emails, and so I got worried.” Killua didn’t want to tell her the truth, didn’t want to admit that his world started to fall off kilter when Gon stopped talking to him. “I figured he came home, so I wanted to come here to check on him.” 

Mito silently sips her tea, rubbing her thumb against the handle. “I don’t know where he is.” Killua admits. Killua owes Mito the truth. “He might be in trouble.”

Killua gulps and images of Gon dead in a ditch somewhere fill his anxiety-ridden mind. Killua can’t bring himself to look at aunt Mito. He feels like he’s failed her somehow. Aunt Mito places a comforting hand over Killua’s.

“You know, one time, when Gon was just a little boy, probably five or six,” Mito began in a soft, lulling voice. “He went to play in the forest by himself and didn’t come back for a week.” 

She began to rub comforting circles on top of Killua’s hand. “I was so worried, I spent most of that time out looking for him, but I never found him. He ended up returning without a scratch on him, and a few weeks later he did the same thing again.” 

Aunt Mito sighs, wistfully. “I’ve learned that you can be sure that wherever he is, he’s gonna be alright. He’s quite the adaptor. You’ll never know when he’ll come back though, and most times he’ll leave without a trace.” 

Mito brings her hand up, propping it against her cheek. “He’s a bit like his father that way.”

Despite Mito’s words, Killua can’t shake the feeling that Gon’s disappearance isn’t right. Killua looks up at aunt Mito, expression a bit more vulnerable than he’s usually comfortable showing. 

“Aunt Mito?” Alluka steps down from the staircase, freshly bathed and wearing a long, yellow dress with puffed out short sleeves. Aunt Mito looks at Alluka warmly, remembering a time when she wore that same dress as a little girl. 

“Feeling better?” Mito asks. Alluka walks over and stands beside Killua, nodding and letting out a big yawn. 

“Why don’t the two of you go get some rest?” Mito points towards Gon’s bedroom to the left of the top of the staircase. “You look like you need it.” Killua whispers a thank you and heads up the stairs, Alluka in tow. He let’s her take the bed, and he puts together his futon, just like when he was staying here with Gon. 

He tucks Alluka into bed. “So Gon isn’t here?” She asks him. 

“No.” 

Killua climbs into his own bed, exhaustion hitting him like a truck. “You’ll find him, Big Brother.” She whispers. “I know you will.” 

As he drifts off into sleep, Killua decides that is exactly what he’s going to do. Maybe he’s wrong, and Gon isn’t in any sort of danger. Maybe he’s found a new adventure, and maybe he’s decided Killua isn’t worth keeping in touch with. Either way, Killua decides he must find him, if only for his peace of mind. 

Even if Gon hates him now, Killua will never be able to stop caring about him. That night, in the warmth of Gon’s house, Killua sleeps better than he has in a very long time. 

-

Killua wakes the next morning to the incessant ringing of his cellphone. Normally, he would ignore a call so early in the morning, but there’s a small chance that it might be Gon. He scrambles to find it, lost in his blanket. He eventually does, and takes it to the hall, shutting the door so that he doesn’t wake up Alluka.

He isn’t surprised at the disappointment he feels when he sees the call is coming from Leorio. “Hello?” 

“Killua? Is that you?” Leorio sounds a bit distressed, but no more than Killua would expect from a med student. 

“Yeah. Why are you calling me at the asscrack of dawn?” He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit mad that he was awake so unnecessarily early. Even Aunt Mito isn’t up yet. 

“I just need to ask you something, and maybe I’m just being paranoid and this god-forsaken course load is getting to me, but…” Killua wanders downstairs as he listens to Leorio rant. He ends up going outside, plopping down on the front steps of the porch. 

“Have you talked to Gon recently?” Leorio asks him. Killua gasps into the phone.

“He’s been ignoring you too?” Killua exclaims.

Leorio sighs. “Yeah, he told me he would text or call or something when he made it home safe, but it’s been days and I haven’t heard from him at all!” 

Even though this confirmed Killua’s suspicions that something may be wrong, he couldn’t help but bask a bit in the reassurance that Leorio’s validation brought. 

“Same here. Last time I heard from him was right before I left him.” He tries his best to swallow his guilt.

“I…” Leorio pauses for a moment. “I have a feeling he’s in trouble or something.” 

“Me too.” Killua feels determination course through his body. He must find Gon. “I’m actually on Whale Island right now, and he’s not here. His aunt hasn’t heard from him, either.”

“Really?!” Leorio sounds even more distressed. “We’ve got to track him down and make sure he’s okay!” 

“That’s my plan. I’m gonna head back to the World Tree and try to track him from there.” The morning sun burns through the remaining clouds in the morning sky, and Killua soaks in the pure sunrays. 

“Okay. I’ll join you. Let’s meet at the airport there tomorrow evening?” 

“That should work.” Killua nods. “I won’t wait up for you though, old man.” Leorio scoffs. 

“I’ll be there!” Killua knows he will, the man is a licensed hunter after all. He just finds it refreshing to piss Leorio off. “And I’m not an old man!” 

With that, Killua hangs up and heads inside. The smell of food cooking makes his stomach rumble. In the kitchen, Alluka’s helping Aunt Mito make omelets. “Goodmorning, Big brother!” 

“Good morning!” He announces, sitting at the table next to grandma Abe. As they eat breakfast, Mito eyes Killua curiously. Killua is too busy stuffing his face with ham and egg to notice. 

“How are you feeling this morning, Killua?” He looks up from his food, swallowing his bite. 

“Fine.” He takes a quick sip of his water. “We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning. I’m gonna find Gon. I promise.” Aunt Mito nods, smiling inwardly at how much more confident Killua sounds this morning compared to the night before. 

“Will you be bringing Alluka with you?” Killua ponders this for a moment. The search for Gon may become dangerous, and he definitely doesn’t want to risk Alluka getting hurt or being found by their family. He looks into Aunt Mito’s eyes and knows that he could count on her to take care of Alluka here on the island, should he leave her in her care during his search. 

He ends up shaking his head. “No, Alluka will stay with me.” He promised her he would never leave her again and he intended to keep that promise. Mito nods in understanding.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help prepare the two of you.” She smiles warmly at the Zoldyck siblings and starts on the dishes. 

Killua spends the majority of the day in an internet cafe in town, using the hunters website to track Gon’s beetle phone GPS signal from the day they separated. He finds that, according to the GPS signal, Gon went back to the hotel after leaving the world tree. And, the next day, he went to an abandoned factory near the airport. Gon’s current GPS signal shows that he’s still there. 

What could Gon possibly be doing in an abandoned factory for the past week? Cold, gripping, dread fills Killua as he comes up with the possibilities. What if Gon is laying in that factory, cold and dead?

Killua shakes the thoughts out of his head. Worrying over what could be will not benefit him. He will find out soon enough. He heads back to Gon’s house, dejectedly. 

“Look, Big Brother!” Alluka bounds up to him, when he arrives. “Look what I made!” 

She holds up a pale green, knitted beanie. “Aunt Mito taught me how to knit!” 

Killua beams at her. “That’s so cool, Alluka!” It’s crazy how his little sister can cheer him up so easily. 

“I’m gonna give it to Gon when we find him.” 

\- 

Aunt Mito packs a homemade lunch for the siblings to take with them when they leave. Alluka Jumps up into the woman’s arms in a goodbye hug, making her giggle and squeeze back. “You be good for your brother, okay, sweetheart?” 

Alluka responds with an enthusiastic nod. As she puts her backpack on, Killua steps toward Aunt Mito. As he is enveloped in her comforting embrace, she whispers to him. 

“Please stay safe.” She pulls Killua back, so that he is fully facing her. He can see the tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. “And take care of my son.”

Killua nods, a lump forming in his throat. Killua secured his bag to his back and headed onto the front porch with Alluka. They both turned back for a final wave to Aunt Mito and Grandma Abe. As they walked down to the harbor, Killua thought that Aunt Mito looked a bit more aged than she did when he first arrived a few days ago. 

From the harbor, Killua and Alluka board a ship headed to a coastal city on the nearby mainland. There, Killua pays for air ship tickets to the world tree, stopping to eat the lunch Mito packed for them before leaving. 

“I’m so excited to meet Big Brother’s friend!” Alluka exclaims, after the enthrallment of looking out of the window dies down. Killua adjusts his seat into a reclining position.

“Leorio?” Killua smirks, snootily. “Yeah, he’s a moronic old man, but he’s okay.” 

Alluka doesn’t really have the ability to dislike people for things like foolishness or being irritating, and Killua knows she will most likely love Leorio. Killua also knows Leorio is outstandingly kind, so he’s not worried about Leorio being rude to her or anything. 

Nanika, on the other hand…

Should Nanika happen to show up, Killua doesn’t know how Leorio might react. He doesn’t like it, but Killua decides that he’s going to have to tell Leorio about Nanika and her ability, if only to assure him that she isn’t going to be a danger to anyone. 

Killua would have to just trust Leorio. 

It doesn't take long for them to reach the destination, much to Killua’s relief. He wanted to find that factory as soon as possible. Leorio is waiting for them at the end of the terminal, sipping a large energy drink. He sees the siblings and waves, dramatically.

“Killua!” Leorio has a huge smile on his face, and it’s a bit contagious. 

“Hey, Leorio!” Killua can’t help but feel happy being reunited with a friend, even if it’s not the one he really wants. He leads Alluka over to him. 

“Who’s this?” Leorio asks with a friendly smile.

“This is my sister, Alluka,” Killua explains. “She stays with me now.” He squeezes her hand lovingly.

“Oh.” Leorio turns to her, extending his hand. “Nice to meet you, Alluka. I’m Leorio.”

She takes his hand enthusiastically. “Hi,” She beams. “Can we be friends?” 

Leorio chuckles. “Normally, I’d avoid Killua’s siblings, but for you, I’ll make an exception.” 

Killua adjusts his backpack a bit, before leading his companions to a less populated area of the airport. “Speaking of avoiding my siblings,” Killua tells them, once he’s sure they are out of earshot of anyone else. “Me and Alluka are on the run from them, so we need to make sure we stay as discreet as possible, now that we are in a big city.” 

“Awww, does that mean no more restaurants?” Alluka whines. Lately, she’s been really enjoying eating out at restaurants, since she hasn’t really eaten meals anywhere other than the Zoldyck estate for her entire life. 

“Nope. No restaurants.” She pouts a bit, but she’ll have to get over it. Leorio nods, though, trepidation evident on his face at the notion that the zoldycks might be after them. “Anyways, Leorio, I’ve already tracked Gon’s location via his beetle phone’s GPS-”

“Wow! You work quick!”

“Yeah,” Killua quips. “And so I found it’s last location in this abandoned factory not far from here.”

Leorio pumps his fist. “Perfect, let’s go check it out now.” The trio began walking to the exit of the airport. 

“Here’s the thing, though…” Killua mentions, as they head for the factory. “The GPS history showed that he’s been there for days, in the same spot.” 

Leorio looks over at Killua gravely. They walk the rest of the way in silence. When they finally arrive, Killua thinks that the whole place looks like a structural hazard. The walls are so old and worn, they look like they could cave in at any moment. Just opening the front door makes an awful creaking noise, and Killua is ready to catch it, thinking it might fall off its hinges. 

Inside, faint daylight streams in through broken windows and chunks of wall that had deteriorated. Leorio and Killua begin to feel disappointed as they look around. The entire place is barren and abandoned, with no sign of Gon, or any other living thing having been there. Alluka plops down on one of the factory lines in the main room with a sigh. 

“I don’t think Gon’s here, Big Brother.” Killua walks over to her and leans against the table with a sigh. 

“I think you’re right.” Killua feels a bit defeated. This was his only lead and it looks like it’s turning out to be a dead end. Alluka leans over and pats his head, comfortingly. 

He looks over at her, appreciating the sentiment. Killua notices, right behind her, a small rectangular card sitting on top of the counter, missing the dust and weariness of the rest of the factory. Hope blossoms in Killua’s chest as he reaches over Alluka. 

As he picks it up and brings it closer, his hopes are confirmed. It’s a hunter's license. He flips it over, and sure enough. It’s Gon’s hunter’s license. 

“Hey!” Leorio calls, a few factory lines over. “I found Gon’s bag!”

Killua jumps up at that, racing over to Leorio. Sure enough, he’s holding Gons bag. Leorio hands it over to Killua, and he dumps out it’s contents out on the floor. He searches through them, hoping to find a clue. He finds Gon's phone, dead. There’s nothing here, Killua thinks.

Just clothes and Gons toothbrush. Then, he finds a ticket to a flight to a city from the mainland near Whale Island, dated for departure days ago. It’s obvious Gon was planning on going home, but there were no clues as to what stopped him from going through with that. 

“Killua…” Leorio calls to him, but Killua’s too busy to look over at him, desperately trying to find anything else. 

“Killua, look!” Normally, Killua has no issue ignoring Leorio, but something in Leorio’s voice made him turn. He was holding out Gon’s bag, pointing to the back side of it. 

Something was smudged into the fabric. It was faint, but Killua would be able to recognise it anywhere. It was old, dried blood. 

Gon

Little more than a week passes, and the weather grows colder as the nights grow longer. It works well, though, for Gon, because he prefers to complete missions under the cover of darkness. The freezing air outside doesn’t stop Gon from enjoying the wind blowing through his grown out hair from his driver’s seat window. He speeds down the highway, on his way back to the hideout, his target tied up and unconscious in the trunk of the car, just as Nobunaga instructed Gon to do. 

It’s been days since Chrollo officially made Gon a member of the Phantom troupe, and every day has been a new mission for Gon. Most days, It’s tasks to do for Nobunaga, as per his deal with Gon. Some days another troupe member will make him run an errand for them. Surprisingly enough, Gon hasn’t had to kill since that night at Minx Club. Even more surprising, Chrollo postponed his fight at the heaven’s arena, and decided to stay Gon and Nobunaga and the others for the time being. Gon has no clue why Chrollo would do that. A fight with Hisoka is serious business. 

Finally, Gon pulls into the driveway and turns off the engine. “I’m back!” He calls, as he enters the main room. Nobunaga is sitting in a chair pulled up to the pool table, which has been turned into a desk, it’s surface littered with papers and envelopes. The man looks up from his work, shooting a pleased smile toward the boy. 

Today has got to be a record, Nobunaga thinks. He gave Gon this assignment in the early morning, and it isn’t even noon yet. Despite Machi’s doubts, it’s looking like Nobunaga had been right all along. Gon is on his way to becoming an excellent spider. 

“The target is tied up and unconscious,” Gon points back toward the car. “Where do you want me to move them?” 

“The basement.” Nobunaga gets up and walks up to a wooden box sitting on the bookshelf. He opens it and takes a pre-filled needle, and hands it to Gon. “Administer this sedative before you leave them, I won’t be down there until later tonight.” 

“Okay!” Gon says with a cheerful nod. He makes quick work of transferring the target to the basement, making sure to chain the target up the way Nobunaga likes, and administering the sedative just like he was told to. 

He doesn’t know who the person is, they could be a horrible criminal for all Gon knows, but he can’t help but feel bad for them as he looks over the target one last time before climbing up the stairs. Gon knows they will probably be dead before the sun rises tomorrow. 

When Gon enters the main room once more, Chrollo and Feitan are there, talking with Nobunaga about something. When they notice Gon come in, the conversation falls silent. Gon realizes why when he sees that velvet box in Nobunaga’s hands.

Immediately, Gon’s mood turns sour.

“Is there anything else you need me to do, Nobunaga?” The boy asks. Nobunaga shakes his head, waving his hand dismissively. Gon leaves and heads for the kitchen. 

For some reason, no one will tell him what that little box is and what it has to do with getting his nen back. It frustrates Gon to no end. Why do they still withhold that information from him? Especially when it directly affects him? 

I’ve even become a damn spider, Gon thinks, bitterly. What more do I have to do?

Gon opens the refrigerator with a huff. He takes out eggs and veggies, and starts cooking. He hasn’t eaten yet, and his tummy lets out quiet, hungry noises. Cooking soothes him, a bit. 

It reminds him of home, even though his omelettes never turn out as good as aunt Mito’s. One day, when he has his nen back and he’s no longer indebted to Nobunaga, Gon will return to Whale Island and see grandma Abe and Aunt Mito again, and taste her cooking. One day. 

It pops into Gon's mind that maybe one of the others might be hungry, so he steps over to the other room, internally wincing as he interrupts them once again. 

“Does anyone want an omelette?” Gon gives his spatula a little wave with an easy smile. Nobunaga nods, behind the binder he was looking through, and Feitan straight up ignores the boy. 

“Gon, I would love to eat your cooking.” Chrollo stares right at Gon with a nervy grin, and the boy returns it with a nod and a smile. He turns around and heads back to the kitchen quickly, in an attempt to hide the blush that spreads across his face at the oblique praise from the boss. 

Gon ends up making four omelettes, even though Feitan had ignored him. He takes the plates for Chrollo, Nobunaga, and Feitan to the main room, before heading to the lonely dining room connected to the kitchen to eat. 

As the sun begins to set that night, Shalnark and Shizuku arrive at the hideout, along with a sizable box. As Gon watches them come in from his spot on the couch, where he had embarrassingly dozed off for most of the day, he thinks that the box must be pretty heavy, considering they were bringing it in using a dolly cart. Gon pulls the throw blanket up around his shoulders as wintery drafts blow in from the open front door. 

“Shalnark, what is that stuff?” the boy asks. The blonde spider deposits the box on the floor and looks over to Gon. 

“This,” He pats the box. “is an excellent new find.” 

Machi enters the room, to see what was going on. When her eyes land on the box, she rolls her eyes. 

“Sure, Shalnark.” Machi rebukes, sarcastically. “Excellent find.” 

Shizuku sat on the couch across from Gon, stretching out her arms. “I know you think buying new, untested drugs is a bad idea, Machi, but Shalnark and I think it could be kinda fun. Like gambling.” 

Machi looks at Shalnark doubtfully, to which the man just shrugs. “What? It’s not like I actually bought it.” 

Machi breathes a dismissive sigh and crosses her arms, leaning against a wall. “Now's the fun part, though,” Shalnark continues as he opens up the box. “Does it actually work?”

His eyes immediately land on Gon as he pulls out a mid sized rock of the crystalized drug from the box. Gon gulps, feeling small underneath his blanket. 

“Why don’t we find out, Gon?” The boy watches Shalnark set the rock on a tray and crush it into a powder using ko around his hand. Shalnark measures out a sixteenth of a gram and fills a digestible capsule. 

“Here.” Shalnark stands in front of Gon, looking down at the boy with a cheerful look on his face. It doesn’t take Gon long to realize that he doesn’t have a choice. He reaches up and takes the capsule from Shalnark. 

Fear coils in Gons belly as he stares at the powdery drug, a sickly grey color. “C’mon, Gon,” Shalnark shoots over his shoulder as he walks back to the box. “I don’t have all night.” 

Gon squeezes his eyes shut and pops it into his mouth, swallowing the capsule. Shalnark smiles, brightly. “Well done! I say we pour shots in celebration.” 

The man walks over to the cellarette, pouring a shot of some sort of brown liquor for each of the people in the room. He offers a glass to Gon, who looks uncharacteristically uneager. Shalnark holds out his glass with a wide grin. “To buying new and untested drugs!”

Loud, male laughter booms from behind Shalnark, over by the double doors of the living room. “New and untested drugs, huh?” Phinks laughs as Shizuku and Shalnark recover from their shots. Machi had set hers down on the coffee table, a clear dismissal. 

Shalnark heads back to the cellarette, pouring shots for Phinks and Feitan, who’ve already picked out their cue sticks at the pool table. Machi looks to her side, where Gon is sitting on the edge of the couch, staring off into nothing, a trembling hand clutching his full shot glass. 

She knows that he must be scared. He’s probably never taken any sort of drugs before, let alone alcohol. She can hear the guys talking loudly behind them and she knows that if Shalnark sees that Gon hasn’t finished his shot, he will most likely be forced to. 

Machi reaches back for her glass with a sigh, and taps it against Gon’s, the clink of glass breaking Gon from his reverie. He looks up at her with those big brown eyes, usually so uplifting to look at, but now, it only makes her wish he didn’t have to go through this. She takes her shot, and the boy follows suit, trying his best to swallow his coughs. 

She sets the shot glass back on the table, and promptly retreats to her room, cursing herself for wishing such a thing for Gon. 

He reminds her of the children of Meteor City, who never asked to be abandoned, never asked for a life of struggle. Machi’s never liked charity work, not because there is nothing in it for her, but because she knows that no amount of wishing or charity work will make a real difference. 

Downstairs, Shalnark, Feitan and Phinks are already three shots in. Gon sits still, looking into the bottom of his empty glass. He swirls around a spare droplet of the foul liquid. Gon’s head feels faintly fuzzy after drinking that liquor. He looks up from the glass, hoping to find something to distract himself from the fact that the capsule of whatever Shalnark decided to steal is currently dissolving inside his stomach. 

On the couch across from him, Shizuku’s fallen asleep on her side. Gon giggles, despite the growing dread in his stomach. He gets up and covers her with the throw blanket he had been napping with earlier in the day. 

“Goodnight,” He whispers.

“Hey, Gon!” Shalnark calls from across the room. Gon peers over. “Do you know how to play?” 

Gon shakes his head. There was a pool table at the bar on Whale Island, but Gon had only really seen it in passing, so he never learned how to play. Shalnark motions for Gon to come over. 

Shalnark throws an arm over the boy’s shoulders, pulling him closer to the table. He smells like liquor and it makes Gon fight a grimace. “Here! We’ll teach you!” 

Shalnark tells him to watch closely, as Phinks angles his cue stick behind the white ball. Gon Watches him pull back and hit it with a loud clack, break apart the triangle of pool balls on the other side of the table. “And that starts the game,” Shalnark explains. 

His arm doesn’t leave Gons shoulders, but, at this point, Gon doesn’t really care. Sure, Gon hasn’t been living with shalnark as long as the others, since he only arrived a couple days ago. Shalnark hasn’t made Gon do favors for him yet, like most of the others either, but Gon guesses that being a test subject for his new drug investment probably counts as a favor. For better or for worse, Gon is a member of the phantom troupe now. 

Shalnark goes to say something else, but is interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing. Nobunaga comes in, his usual crabby expression on his face. “Welcome, Nobunaga! Wanna join our game?” 

Feitan puts his cue stick on it’s rack. “Nobunaga can not play game.” 

“Yes, Feitan and I need to pay a visit to our friend downstairs.” Feitan grins, knowing he’s about to get to torture someone. Just before Nobunaga turns around to leave, his phone rings from inside his pocket. 

“Hello?” Feitan waits for Nobunaga to finish his call, leaning against the doorframe beside him. “This is him.”

Gon’s curiosity is piqued as he watches a surprised look grow on Nobunaga’s face, which is really out of the ordinary for the man. “Now?”

“They’ve already arrived?” Nobunaga pinches the bridge of his nose, irritation radiating off of him. Gon feels Shalnark take his arm off of his shoulders and line up a shot. The smack of the pool balls are loud, interrupting Nobunaga’s phone call and it seems to annoy Nobunaga even more, but Shalnark doesn’t seem to care. Or maybe he’s just drunk, Gon thinks. 

“Your usefulness has run out.” With that, Nobunaga hangs up. He sighs, and looks up to Gon. “That was my source, and it looks like your mission for tomorrow has come early, Gon.” 

Gon walks closer to the man. “What do I need to do?”

“Kill a group of men. They’ve entered the country illegally at the eastern border, so they're most likely hiding out somewhere in the mountains.” Gon gulps. That’s more than a few miles away. 

“I need to kill them tonight?”

Nobunaga nods, turning around to head for the hall. “B-but, Shalnark gave me this drug and I don’t know what it does.” Gon looks down, feeling very afraid. Afraid of the drug, afraid of challenging Nobunaga’s orders. 

Nobunaga turns, just slightly, and looks down his nose at Gon. He narrows his eyes. “I don’t care. Get it done before sunrise.” 

Feitan follows Nobunaga into the hallway and Gon stands still for a moment. He hasn’t felt any change in his senses yet. Maybe the drug doesn’t work, or maybe the dosage was too small. Maybe this impromptu mission will go as flawlessly as the past ones have gone, Gon thinks, hopefully. 

Gon hurriedly grabs his belt and thigh holster, and secures them to his body, then throws on the thick, black cloak Nobunaga gave him. Gon didn’t even take time to say goodbye to the rest of the spiders, hurrying to a spare car and setting off towards the east. 

It’s right before he reaches the edge of the forest, where he will have to continue on foot that Gon remembers he forgot to reload the magazine in his hand guns. He turns off the engine and rips out of the car with a groan. Now, he’s limited to only his knives, and on top of that, he doesn’t even know how many targets he needs to take out. 

Gon begins tracking them, cursing the snow that is beginning to fall, knowing that if he doesn’t hurry, it will cover up footprints. 

Despite the cold and the snow, Gon’s nose works just as efficiently as usual. Gon’s moving through the forest canopy, now, following the group of people below him, his targets. He had ended up finding them at the base of the mountain, and Gon thanks his lucky stars he did. 

If he had found them later, somewhere on the mountain, he wouldn’t have the advantage of the forest's trees. Gon quickly formulates a plan.

He decides he’ll use the darkness and the trees, swinging down from the branches and using his knife to quickly kill them. There’s only three targets total, not as difficult as he was expecting. He quickly climbs into the branches of the tree directly above where his targets have stopped for a water break. He readies himself, legs locked onto the branch and knife in hand. 

Just as he’s about to swing down, a sudden dizziness wracks his consciousness. Gon stills, this feeling in his brain and in his body completely alien. Gon looks up from his hand, which is starting to feel oddly warm. He looks out at the snow falling, mindlessly watching a large snowflake slowly fall onto a branch in front of him. He can see the spiral, geometric pattern within it. It’s so tiny, Gon thinks, with a grin. 

He lets out a little giggle, and one of the targets below stands up, abruptly. 

“Did anybody hear that?” the target says to his companions. Gon suddenly remembers why he’s in that snowy forest in the first place. His muddled mind remembers the capsule he swallowed only hours ago. 

Gon knows it’s only a matter of seconds before the targets below discover his presence. The effects of wherever drug Shalnark gave him will only increase with time. Gon can’t run, and he definitely can’t hide. It’s now or never. 

-

Killua

More than a week has passed since finding Gon’s hunter’s license in the abandoned factory, and Killua is starting to lose what little hope he gained there. He’s scoured the entire city twice, and checked the neighboring forests and towns, and nothing. No sign of Gon at all. 

After they left the factory, Killua booked a penthouse for an indefinite stay, and paid for the hotel's silence using his license. Alluka loved it, saying she liked the big windows and the view of the bustling city below. Killua had smiled at her, knowing how perfectly opposite this living situation was to her underground bedroom back at the Zoldyck estate. 

Leorio had taken a sample of the blood from Gon’s bag and ran some tests. A day later, Killua’s suspicions were confirmed. All the blood that had been soaked into the bag had been Gon’s. After that, Killua searched relentlessly, often leaving Alluka in the care of Leorio, not that either of them minded spending time together. 

Even now, Killua watches as the two play a game of checkers, lounging on the couches in front of the windows. Alluka has a thick blanket wrapped around her legs and torso. The windows do a bad job of keeping out the cold. 

“Hey, Leorio,” Killua calls to the man as he pulls on his shoes. “Have you been able to get a hold of Kurapika yet?”

Killua had been hoping that they might be able to get him to help them, but, as usual, he hasn’t been answering his phone. Leorio looks over at Killua with a frown, scratching his head. 

“It always goes to voicemail.” 

Alluka peers outside. 

“Look!” She exclaims, scrambling out of her cocoon. “It’s snowing!” Killua walks over, and it’s a bit hard to tell, because of the dark, but Alluka’s right. Flurries of snowflakes fall down into the city. 

“If it sticks, I’ll take you out to play in it tomorrow,” Leorio tells her from the couch. Alluka looks up at Killua hopefully, silently asking if playing in the snow could be a possibility. He can’t help but smile back. 

“I’ll make sure to be back before morning then.” 

Killua squeezes Alluka’s shoulder and walks over to the door, zipping his coat up the rest of the way. Tonight, he plans on searching the mountainous forests east of the city, even though he’s searched it twice already. 

He walks nonchalantly through the quiet city, save for the whoops and hollers of teenagers playing in the snow. The noises make the burning in his heart roar, and he wishes that he could just find a lead on Gon, any lead. He wishes Gon wasn’t missing, wishes the boy were here and they could play in the snow together. 

He was only a few paces away from the outskirts of the city when a thought he had been trying to push away the whole week resurfaced in his mind. 

He could get Nanika to find Gon. 

It would be so easy. It would be so fast, too. And he knows both Alluka and Nanika want to help him find Gon. Killua sighs, wistfully, and powers up his godspeed. 

He’ll never ask that of Nanika. He’ll never put either of his little sisters in danger. He will find and save Gon, no matter what. 

Killua’s conviction seems to make his nen feel even stronger than usual, and he speeds off down the road. As he flashes through the trees, the snow beneath his feet grows thicker, a beautiful white blanket. He’s rapidly approaching the base of a mountain, and is preparing to climb it before searching it, in the case that he is able to see something from the top.

Suddenly, faint noises catch Killua off guard. He halts, his godspeed flickering to a pause. Killua shifts his stance slightly, expelling his aura outwards, using en. He’d been incorporating the skill into his training, but his en is nothing impressive yet, only about 20 meters on his best day. 

To his right, on the very edge of his en, Killua senses abrupt movement, but all too soon it’s out of range. He doesn’t even have to think about whether or not he should investigate. 

He doesn’t even use zetsu, as a caution he would normally take in instances like this, and instead uses godspeed to move through the short distance instantaneously. 

He zips out into a small clearing, a humble pond, nearly frozen over, nestled by the treeline across from him. He sees three people advancing on a small, dark figure, who seems to be desperately trying to get away. Their movements are wobbly and slow. One of the larger figures gives out a laugh, nudging their companion. “This is what we needed to be on guard for?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” The other one laughs. “Let’s make quick work of him.” 

The smaller figure stumbles and falls backwards, causing their dark hood to fall down, and Killua’s heart stops. 

It’s unmistakable. Killua would recognise his best friend anywhere. It’s Gon. Finally. 

Killua doesn’t even think as he runs at full speed across the clearing. His electricity crackles loud enough for the three pursuers to turn their heads, just in time for Killua’s sharp nails to slit their throats. 

As the bodies slump into the snow behind him, Killua drops to his knees in front of the distraught boy. 

“Gon?” Killua calls out, incredulously. Gons propped up on his own arms, but Killua can see them tremble and buckle. He reaches out to catch him before his head can hit the ground. 

Killua pulls him into his arms, holding Gon close. “Gon? Gon?” 

Up close, Killua can see how hot and flushed the boy’s skin is, every snowflake that lands on it instantly melts. He can feel how his whole body shudders. 

Killua can’t see any injury, and confusion weighs heavy on his chest. He looks into Gon's eyes to see his pupils blown so wide that Killua can barely see any of the beautiful golden brown he adores so much. 

“Gon, look at me.” Killua tells him, in a low, poignant voice. “I’m here.” 

Gon’s eyes flutter sporadically, and his head lolls, like he’s struggling to even keep it up. Gon’s breath huffs in irregular, drawn out pants, the air becoming opaque with each puff. “Ki-” 

“Killu-”

Killua almost cries at the sound of Gon's voice even if it’s strained and broken. Gon’s eyes flit to a close and his body goes limp. 

“Gon!” Killua's voice raises in alarm, and he reaches up to hold Gon’s jaw in his hand, and he swipes his thumb over his feverish cheek, hoping to get some sort of rise out of him. 

“He’s not dying.” Killua whips his head around at the sudden voice. Chrollo Lucilfer approaches the boys from across the clearing. Killua instinctually activates ken, and he holds Gon closer to his body. “He’s just high.”

Killua’s heartbeat speeds up as he grows even more confused. “What?”

“He was given some untested drug by one of my spiders,” Chrollo explains as he steps forward. “Without my approval, by the way.” 

“What are you doing here?” Killua shoots his iciest glare towards the man, and if it has any effect, Chrollo doesn’t let it show. 

“You don’t know?” Killua holds his apprehensive eye contact as his mind races. What is he missing?

What does Gon have to do with the phantom troupe? And how is it connected to his disappearance? 

Slowly the dots connect, and it must show on Killua’s face, because the tips of Chrollo’s lips quirk up. 

No way…

Killua fumbles with the boy in his arms, pulling at Gon’s sleeves, at Gon’s collar, searching for something he’s hoping on everything he won’t find. He pulls up the hem of Gon’s shirt and coat, revealing his stomach, so warm to Killua’s touch. 

Then, he saw them. The thin, black tips of the tattoo, on the sides of Gons waist and hips. No, no, Killua thought to himself as he carefully leans Gon up and forward onto his chest, so Killua can pull back the fabric covering Gon’s lower back. 

And there it is. The body of the spider is an inky black in contrast to Gon’s rich caramel skin, and the number 9 sits right in the center. 

Killua can’t believe it, and he holds Gon tighter, as if his embrace will nullify the truth. Gon joined the spiders. 

“You see?” Chrollo drawls. “Gon is now a member of the phantom troupe.” 

Killua stands up, holding the listless Gon in his arms. He turns to Chrollo, his eyes glowering viciously at the man. Killua knows in his heart there’s no way Gon would join the troupe voluntarily, and he can only imagine what they threatened Gon with to force him to join. 

“I’ll be taking back what’s mine.” Chrollo steps forward, and Killua steps backward, ready to godspeed the hell out of there with Gon. 

“Gon doesn’t belong to you.”

Chrollo notices Killua’s aura charging up and he narrows his eyes. “Do you think you’ll be able to save him if he overdoses? Only we have what he needs to wake up.” 

Killua looks down at his best friend's face, the redness of his cheeks, the way his lashes are wet, and he doesn’t know if it’s melted snow or tears. Chrollo’s right. 

Killua has no clue what Gon took, or how to help him. Leorio might know, but if it’s truly a new, untested drug, he can’t count on it. 

Killua looks up at Chrollo and tries to ignore the bitter taste of defeat on his tongue. He steps forward, ready to hand Gon off, but pauses. 

He glances down at Gon one last time, and leans in to press a kiss to his forehead, a promise that he will find him again. And when he does, he will find a way to get Gon out of this. 

He gently places the boy in Chrollo’s arms, and the man turns to leave. 

“If you try to follow us, you will die.” With that, the leader of the phantom troupe disappears, and just like that, Gon is gone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little extra Killua pov this chapter!! I love writing him! I try my best to keep both Killua and Gon as in character as possible, but please let me know if there's anything I can do to improve my writing!! (❁´◡`❁)


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